From the "How Stupid Can You Get" file

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Everyone together now, let's spell Morons.

M - O - R - O - N - S

Who the hell cares who she goes to the prom with? So fucking what? And these are the same people who preach tolerance and loving thy neighbor in church on Sundays.  Ugh

"I don't agree with homosexuality, but I can't change what another person thinks or does."

How the hell can you agree or disagree with homosexuality?  It's not a fucking argument! If we're going that way, I don't agree with pregnancy!  How abysmally moronic is that statement? And I don't care that it comes from a teenager. Use the damn head your god set on your damn shoulders!!!!

Ok, I'll shut up now and let you read for yourselves.

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Miss. school prom off after lesbian's date request


AP – This 2009 photo released by Constance McMillen's family via The ACLU of Mississippi, taken in Fulton, …

By SHELIA BYRD, Associated Press Writer Shelia Byrd, Associated Press Writer – 2 hrs 48 mins ago

JACKSON, Miss. – A northern Mississippi school district will not be hosting a high school prom this spring after a lesbian student sought to attend with her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo.

The Itawamba County school district's board decided Wednesday to drop the prom because of what it called recent distractions but without specifically mentioning the girl's request, which was backed by the American Civil Liberties Union.

The student, 18-year-old high school senior Constance McMillen, said the cancellation was retaliation for her efforts to bring her girlfriend, also a student, to the April 2 dance.

"A bunch of kids at school are really going to hate me for this, so in a way it's really retaliation," McMillen told The Clarion-Ledger of Jackson. Calls to McMillen by The Associated Press late Wednesday went unanswered.

School policy requires that senior prom dates be of the opposite sex. The ACLU of Mississippi had given the district until Wednesday to change that policy, arguing that banning same-sex prom dates violated McMillen's constitutional rights.

Instead, the school board met and issued a statement announcing it wouldn't host the event at Itawamba County Agricultural High School in Fulton, "due to the distractions to the educational process caused by recent events."

The statement didn't mention McMillen or the ACLU. When asked by The Associated Press if McMillen's demand led to the cancellation, school board attorney Michele Floyd said she could only reference the statement.

"It is our hope that private citizens will organize an event for the juniors and seniors," district officials said in the statement. "However, at this time, we feel that it is in the best interest of the Itawamba County School District, after taking into consideration the education, safety and well being of our students."

Kristy Bennett, legal director for the ACLU of Mississippi, said the district was trying to avoid the issue.
"But that doesn't take away their legal obligations to treat all the students fairly," Bennett said. "On Constance's behalf, this is unfair to her. All she's trying to do is assert her rights."

Itawamba County is a rural area of about 23,000 people in north Mississippi near the Alabama state line. It's near Pontotoc County, Miss., where more than a decade ago school officials were sued in federal court over their practice of student-led intercom prayer and Bible classes.

Anna Watson, a 17-year-old junior at the high school, was looking forward to the prom, especially since the town's only hotspot is the bowling alley, she said.

"I am a little bummed out about it. I guess it's a decision that had to be made. Either way someone was going to get disappointed — either Constance was or we were," Watson said. "I don't agree with homosexuality, but I can't change what another person thinks or does."

Other students are on McMillen's side.

McKenzie Chaney, 16, said she wasn't planning to attend the prom, but "it's kind of ridiculous that they can't let her wear the tuxedo and it all be over with."

A Feb. 5 memo to students laid out the criteria for bringing a date to the prom, and one requirement was that the person must be of the opposite sex.

The ACLU said McMillen approached school officials shortly before the memo went out because she knew same-sex dates had been banned in the past. The ACLU said district officials told McMillen she and her girlfriend wouldn't be allowed to arrive together, that she would not be allowed to wear a tuxedo, and that she and her girlfriend might be asked to leave if their presence made any other students "uncomfortable."
McMillen said she feared she would be thrown out of the prom because "we do live in the Bible Belt."

And now for something completeley different...

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I've been keeping a journal for what seems forever. I suppose, like most girls, I started after reading Anne Frank's diary. And I remember reading Go Ask Alice which also inspired me to write - and become a  junkie (in the interest of full disclosure, let me just say that I'm rolling my eyes at myself here).

A few days ago, I pulled out my first diary (the ubiquitous locked 5-year diary with six lines to a year, which rule I broke with my first entry evah) and thought it could make for a cool (albeit seriously embarrassing) series of posts. What with 35 journals to choose from (obviously I have no life if I can take the time to write 35 journals), I can take you from that first 13 year old entry all the way up to today, which would be way to close for comfort. But before then, we'll all be heartily sick of this and wishing that that proto-Jazz would just shut the hell up already.

And so, I will be posting excerpts from my journals (wonky grammar and all). As noted, most of them will probably be really embarrassing to me, but what the hell, I spend most of my days embarrassing the hell out of myself anyway. It's a gift. It's my superpower.

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To whit:

June 25, 1974

I got back from a trip to Chicoutimi yesterday (my birthday). I just got you today and I'm going to tell you everything. (not by a long shot baby - that would've been excruciating)

Sometimes I might put "later" because I might not write everything at the same time (because I might never have realized I was writing later if I hadn't spelled it out). Today I'm feeling high. I don't know why, maybe because I've got you to talk to now (that's sad). Well bye for now diary (Never one to follow rules, by now I was well into the third year entry)

Later: I'm reading "That Was Then, This Is Now" (teenage angst galore!), it's a real great book. A while ago I threw a plaster into Nini's (That would be BB - was my name for him for the longest time) paper basket. I was standing on the couch and I got all dizzy and saw yellow and green and red and sort of dots all over. I wonder if that's what it's like when you take drugs. I'd like to try them (drugs I mean) (I had high ambitions when I was 13 - or maybe I just wanted to be cool). Bye diary, see you tomorrow."

July 2, 1974

You know what I want to do Diary? I want to write a story. Maybe I could, wouldn't that be great? (who knew I had literary aspirations) You could help me, would you? (a touch delusional perhaps, this is a notebook, not a person, Dear)

Later:  I just finished the first chapter in my our book, I don't know if I made a mistake trying to write, but anyway, I'll continue and we'll see. I hope it works (it obviously didn't). See you later.

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Surprisingly,  this journal lasted me three years. And I never did finish it, it was much too regimented with all those yearly entries and dates already written down, it was just annoying.

I was pathetically obsessed with boys, and unfortunately they weren't obsessed with me. Utter humiliation to a teenage girl. What can a nerd expect though? As for those who might have shown some interest (and who I was head over heels in crush with):

February 14, 1975

He started talking to me in English. G told him I could understand everything he said in English. The first thing he said was What are you doing tonight?. My answer was, a lot of things that wouldn't interest you. He looked as if someone had slapped him in the face (Well Duh!) After that he said Do you want to sleep with me tonight? and I said no, I have better things to do. The best part was today on the bus after school. He leaned over from his seat on to mine and said, What about my valentines kiss? I just told him to buzz off. Then he asked again and i pushed him back into his seat. I'm not stupid, I know he was laughing at me. He has a girlfriend. And if he didn't I wouldn't be his choice (Actually, all these years later, I can't help but think I was an astute little 14 year old - plus I was terrified. What if?).

And on another note:

January 10, 1976

Everything is mixed up these days. I mean really, what do you do when you wish your own father was dead. Don't say it's natural cause it isn't, even if he is sick. I'm the sick one.

This is my list of things I want most (it strikes me as both hysterically funny and sad):

1. Dad dead
2. No more pimples
3. To have lots of money
4. Be popular

Of course the first and second will happen eventually (I kept my dreams well within the realm of the reasonable), the third probably never unless I marry some rich guy (didn't happen - but I got much better than rich) and the fourth will probably never happen either (bingo - did I say I was astute even at that age?).

P.S. In typing we got electric machines (gotta love the practicality of that after my list...)

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The funniest thing re-reading this journal is that I have no idea anymore who most of the people are. I vaguely remember the guy I blew off, and one or two girlfriends, but otherwise - no freaking idea. Nor do I want to remember them.

So, your call people, shall we continue with this?
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Gotta love animations

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I found this on Facebook, a friend had commented on it...

It is a really cool animation regarding safe sex. Don't watch it if you're easily offended.

I'm proposing the link because as it's rather, graphic YouTube requires you sign in as an adult, and I don't want to make y'all jump through the YouTube hoops.
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In Today's News....

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More on the niqab:

It seems that a memo was sent a few months ago to the Montreal police force, saying in essence that, if a criminal is arrested they are to be fingerprinted and photographed for identification purposes.

If this criminal happens to be a woman wearing a niqab (although I can't help but think the chances of that happening are remote), she is to be fingerprinted and requested to unveil for the mug shots.

If she refuses to unveil, she is to be photographed wearing the niqab.

Because that doesn't defeat the "identification" aspect of all this at all.

Words fail me. I mean, really, what the fuck?
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False adverstising?

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There's a whole debate raging in Quebec these days regarding the niqab, and recently a immigrant taking French classes was told she'd have to take off her niqab in class  in order facilitate interaction with her peers, or take the class online. She opted to leave the class.

It seems that the niqab doesn't only cause problems in the west. It seems to lead to cases of  false advertising. (text of the article below)


Man claims fiancee hid beard under niqab

* By Bassam Za'za', Senior Reporter
* Published: 00:00 February 10, 2010
* Gulf News

An Arab ambassador said he decided to call off his wedding immediately after he discovered that his wife-to-be, who wears a niqab, was bearded and cross-eyed.

Dubai: An Arab ambassador said he decided to call off his wedding immediately after he discovered that his wife-to-be, who wears a niqab, was bearded and cross-eyed.

The ambassador claimed that the bride's mother deceived his mother, when she went to see his Gulf national wife-to-be, by showing her pictures of the bride's sister.

The Arab man, who also holds the title of minister plenipotentiary, claimed to a Sharia court judge in Dubai that the bride's family showed his mother photos of the bride's sister and not the woman he was going to marry.

Sources close to the case told Gulf News that the groom only saw the woman a few times. He did not realise that she had a beard because she wore the niqab the few times he met her, added the source.

"Every time the couple met, the bride would do her best not to reveal her entire face. After the ambassador and the woman, who is a physician, signed the marriage contract, the groom was sitting with the bride… he claimed to the Sharia court officials that when he wanted to kiss his wife-to-be, he discovered that she was bearded and cross-eyed as well," claimed the source.

The ambassador then decided to call off the wedding party and lodged a divorce claim alleging that he was tricked by his parents-in-law and incurred emotional and moral damage.

In his lawsuit, the groom also asked the bride to repay him his Dh500,000, the amount which he claimed he spent on jewellery, clothes and gifts.

During the trial, the bride asked the judge to dismiss the groom's lawsuit and demanded him to pay her alimony after the Arab called off the wedding party.

Gulf News also learnt that the ambassador requested the Sharia court to refer the Gulf national woman to a specialist to have her examined for hormonal deficiencies.

The court referred the bride to a specialist who countered the ambassador's claims and reported that she did not suffer any hormonal problems.

The court divorced the couple and rejected the groom's request that the pre-marriage gifts be returned.
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The mysterious disappearing meme...

is back.  So I figured I should post the damn thing before it disappears again...


1. What are your current obsessions?

I obsess over many things, not least why I'm obsessing over one thing rather than another.

2. Who would you most like to have dinner with?

Whoever is willing to pay for dinner at a fancy restaurant with expensive wine.

3. Last dream you had?

I was wading through a lake of blood and body parts. I was carrying a machete. Conclude what you will.


4. Last thing you bought?

Dinner in an expensive restaurant

5. What are you listening to?

Why must we always be listening to something in these damn things. No! I don't have music on, I'm not obsessed by having music on, despite the fact that yes, I do own an iPod! I'm not listening to anything. I'm hearing the ventilation system, colleagues chatting, a chair creaking. Silence. Blessed silence would be nice now and again. Why are people so afraid of silence, what is it they're afraid of? Do they think if the iPod or the TV isn't blasting it means they don't exist?

Rant over

6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be?

Well, duh. Bachhus

7. Favorite holiday spots?

Anwwhere but my desk

8. Reading right now?

This meme? ok, Iran, les rives du sang by Fariba Hachtroudi

9. Four words to describe yourself.

Right now? Lazy, hungry, bored... i can't find anything else, I'm too bored

10. Guilty pleasure?

As if I'd tell you

11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?

I'm never weak

12. Favorite spring thing to do?

Gloat that winter is over

13. Planning to travel to next?

France in May. Unless it doesn't work, in which case who knows?

14. Best thing you ate or drank lately?

Yesterday's black truffle risotto

15. When did you last get tipsy?

Tipsy? Ridiculous word. Last weekend. And I saw a great t-shirt at that party:

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.

16. Favorite ever films?

I took the liberty of adding an s to film - LOTR, One flew over the cuckoo's nest and Blade Runner. I think

17. Care to share some wisdom?

Life will eventually kill you, don't take it seriously


18. What item could you not live without?

Air

19. Thing you are looking forward to?

The end of this damn day

20. What’s your favorite smell?

Currently? Black truffle risotto

21. If you didn’t live where you do, where would you choose to live?

Probably the American south-west. In the desert out there.

Sunday at the cottage

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Sometimes something great happens. For no reason at all. For instance, you walk by the patio door and there, sitting in a tree, not 15 feet from you is a barred owl. Nothing like Ian's Great Horned Owl, but nevertheless stunning. And there he sat, posing. Such a beautiful creature.

Look at his eyes, Barred owls are, apparently the only brown-eyed owls. He let me take several pictures before turning around and soaring away. I've seen plenty of cool birds at the cottage, but this is a first...

And then, on the way home we stopped at the spa. They have a thing for buddhas at this spa, and I thought they looked pretty cool in the snow.

 

And the mysterious disappearing meme is back.  But that's for another day.
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Once upon a time

Two score and eight years ago (plus four days), a baby boy was born. He was no doubt an adorable thing, but I wouldn't know, as I was under a year old myself and still doodooing the diapers at every chance I got.

As this child grew into a lad, raised by a houseful of women, he view of the world was molded by them into something quirky and deliciously different - for a boy at any rate.

As a teenager, he blossomed and as a young adult he traveled the world for over a year, discovering along the way that people are people and hell if they don't all like to party and drink copious amounts of beer.

Several years later we met. It wasn't love at first sight, not by a long shot as we were both with other people at the time. But a few years later, things dropped into place and I've had the daily pleasure of his company ever since.

Without him life would be grayer, duller and a whole lot less funny.

And I'd be way less well fed - which, might not be a bad thing, all things considered. Although it would surely be a much less healthy thing, considering what I'd be eating if I had to feed myself... but I digress.

Happy belated B-day post Mr. Jazz. I love you more than I can say - I'd have to invent a whole new language.

Rather than a post...

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...today you get a link.  A link to Tatty Tiara's latest post. People this woman is a must read. She is she is...

Go now, run along, she's waiting.
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From the oh ferchrissake file

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ABC, CBS and NBC will apparently be interrupting their programming to air the Tiger Woods press conference.

What the fuck is with that?  The guy is a golfer who cheated repeatedly on his wife because he's a "sex addict" (and I won't even go there, no, no snarky comments about how it's a wonderful excuse when you want to get off the hook for being a serial cheater and .... oops).

Anyway.

The guy isn't the president, he isn't the pope, he isn't god.

He's not announcing the beginning of the third world war.

HOW HAS THIS BECOME NEWS WORTHY OF INTERRUPTING PROGRAMMING ON ALL THREE MAJOR NETWORKS?????

You have got to be shitting me.
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You know what really pisses me off?

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Disclaimer: this post includes foul language which might be offensive to some audiences. Reader discretion is advised.  Or something. 'Cause bad language wouldn't be a first here, but we must be PC cause well, you never know whose virgin eyes might end up here...

And now I have to re-write my title cause that little disclaimer episode totally screwed up the rythme.

So.

You know what really pisses me off?

Well, I'm a tell y'all...

What really pisses me off is when the (looooong !!!) meme post I was working on today - and I really put work in it an' it was long and it was convoluted an' it was entertaining as all hell, though you'll have to take my word for that - which I saved as a draft because I wasn't quite finished (maybe 5 more minutes work...) and then came back to for the finishing touches...

has been deleted by Blogger.

Deleted.
By.
That.
Fucktard.
Blogger!!

(sorry for fucktard, but for some reason I love that nasty nasty word and have always wanted to use it somewhere. Blogger doing this to me is the perfect occasion. Fucktard!)

It annoys me to no end to work my little ass off for nothing (ok, big, yes Blogger my ass? it is BIG and if it sits on you it'll quash the miserable little cyber life right out of you, you evil assclown troll of the innernetses). Hell, I do that every day at the office, out there in the Twilight Zone, the whole working thing. For what? What I ask you? To what end? What's the damn point of that?

The last thing I need is to do the same thing in real life.

Bleh.

It might not be so bad, but it's fucking February (note the alliteration). I hate February and it hates me right back.  AND it's in cahoots with Blogger to make my life a living hell. It is. Yes indeed.

You might not believe me but I KNOW.  February and Blogger - twin terrorists of winter and the innertubes...

Bleh.

But y'all?  I loveses, you i does, y'allses is my precisoussses

Christ I need a drink. At least then I'd have a reason for being incoherent.

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Sentencing

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Earl Jones (who I mentioned here) was sentenced yesterday to 11 years in prison after pleading guilty; he defrauded 158 clients of $50 million dollars.  It's not muich when you look at the likes of Bernie Madoff, but it is a chunk of change.

The man is despicable, he found lots of his "clients" in nursing homes or he preyed on the dying or their bereaved families. He ruined is own brother fer chrissake. That's sick...

So he got eleven years. Problem is, in Canada that translates to about  22 months, what with the fact that he'll have to to 1/6th of his sentence and time already served counts double. He could be free after 22 fucking months.


His lawyer had the gall to say that it was much worse than that, that his sentence is to be alone, his family is gone, he has no friends. He is sentenced to be alone. Fuck off, his solitude is a result of his behaviour. It's his own damn fault and not part of his sentence.

The judge, on the other hand, had no choice, she was applying the law.

I can't help but wonder if this type of situation has anything to do with the fact that more and more people in Canada think the death sentence isn't such a bad idea.

Or maybe politicians want to be sure that the financial gurus, those who finance them aren't in too much of a bind if they are arrested - but that's a cynical view even by my standards.

There are more and more of these "victimless" crimes. And the perpetrators pretty much have a get out of jail free card. The whole concept of the punishment fitting the crime has been tossed straight out the window in this country.

Unless I'm the one being punished of course. In that case, lenient would definitely be the way to go. Except I'm to lazy get into a life of crime...

The Mind Boggles

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As seen in this week's Montreal Mirror:


FRESH HOT HATE

While the passing into law of the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act was generally met with a blend of applause and standard American indifference, four Michigan zealots are concerned the prevention of anti-gay crime interferes with their God-given right to violently hate gays. So outraged are they by the inconvenience, in fact, that they’ve filed a federal suit.

Filed by Dominos Pizza founder Tom Monaghan’s Thomas More Law Center on behalf of the American Family Association and three equally wing-nutty pastors, the suit alleges the Hate Crimes Act gives homosexuals legal protections that make them “more equal than others.” Furthermore, the plaintiffs are concerned that the laws equate their “deeply held religious beliefs” with racism and will stymie their “freedom of speech, expressive association and free exercise” of those beliefs. The act itself clearly states that it in no way will infringe on freedom of speech or freedom of expression laws.

In addition to getting its allegations wrong, the suit also dismisses the notion that Matthew Shepard’s having been tied to a fence and beaten to death in 1998 had anything to do with his homosexuality.
by SCOTT SAXON

Monaghan is described in Wikipedia as a philanthropist.  My dictionary describes philanthropy as an "altruistic concern for human welfare and advancement".  Yeah, as long as it's anti gay, anti choice   (Monaghan is big in HLI).

How can you justify hate in the name of a god? HOW!?! Isn't catholicism, well christianity overall supposed to be about love and tolerance and all that hippie stuff? The religious right makes me sick.

Happy v-day everyone.

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In the news

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Lotto Quebec has decided to go online with a casino. Oh horror, oh end of the world. All these people who don't gamble will start gambling and yadda yadda yadda...

The funny thing is how they're selling it as a way for people to gamble securely online. Seems lots of people get ripped off in online casinos. Who knew.

Honestly, I have no problem with Lotto Quebec opening an online casino. I don't give a damn. But fer chrissake people, stop being so damn hypocritical about it, it's not about "making sure people can gamble online securely". It's not a damn public service ! It's about making money. The government always needs more money. Just come out and say it. I dare you, just be honest for once, we can take it!

Morons.

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In other news:

The Quebec government has decided to use a new and revolutionary method of evaluating students:  KNOWLEDGE ! Because 5 or 6 years ago, the govenrnment decided to reform the school system.They did away with marks and went for evaluating competence - your problem solving skills, your skills at getting along etc. etc. and hopefully, some general knowledge was evaluated along the way. After all you wouldn't want a child to feel bad because they flunked. (And I'm not gonna start ranting on that particular way of looking at things, nope. Not today) And it seems school boards didn't all have the same marking system so there wasn,t much uniformity across the province. Or something. I never really did understand what the hell they were on about - and since I don't have kids, it was sort of a moot point anyway.

I'm sure BB could explain it all to our satisfaction, him being a teacher and all. Or maybe he's just as confused as the rest of us.

And so, this week, the big announcement. Starting next year students will be getting marked (with numbers no less!) on knowledge of a subject.  They're trying to spin it, but obviously the plan flopped big time. Once again some  bozo pushed his lets-use-the-kids-as-guinea-pigs-and-see-what-happens agenda. Once again it didn't work. The mind? It boggles.

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In yet other news:

The Lieutenant Governor of Quebec...  - ok, let me 'splain for you Americans out there. Technically the Queen of England is still the boss of us, so Canada has a Governor General who represents her here and each province has a Lieutenant Governor who represents her and both offices cost us a fortune and why the hell is she still our "Queen" anyway and what a stupid fucking system that is, but I digress - so the LG holds a highly honorific post and doesn't do much of anything except hand out medals to deserving citizens and that sort of shit. Well, the guy seems to think he's all important and stuff, because he had his face stamped on the medals it seems. Yes, his face.

HIS!
FACE!

What the fuck?

Listen to the sound of my mind boggling.  Boggle, boggle, boggle.

Is the government as ridiculous outside Quebec? Really, I need to know.

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And a last tidbit.

This one freaks me right the hell out though.

The Mohawks of the Kanawake reserve south of Montreal have decided that any whites living on the reserve must leave as legally, only Mohawks can live in the territory. The 26 (or so) people have received eviction notices and have 10 days to vacate. Who are these 26 people? They are spouses and boy/girlfriends of Mohawks. And no mixing should take place. They have the law on their side, but damn. I'm flabbergasted (damn, I love that word).

Lots of ink is flowing, talk of racism, racial purity, Hitler, you name it.

Here is the mp3 link to a radio interview.  It's on a French station, but the interview is in English, with the host translating from time to time..

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Check this out...

BB posted this today. Hilarious video.