Monday, May 10, 2010

Our Nation's Capital

Ottawa that would be. Where I spent the weekend and was tardy about blogging about it so both XUP and Violet Sky beat me to it 'cause they're way on the ball and organized and get everything done right away and make me feel like... hmmm... well, basically like a) i'm completely disorganized and b) total aside, the Habs just scored, so it's 3-2 against the Penguins and Mr. Jazz is a happy camper and I inserted this into the blog because his screams of joy pretty much lifted me 6 inches off the bed. The boy can yell, indeed he can.
And c) as you can see, I'm easily distracted so that might explain why I'm, as always, the last to blog. That and for some reason on Mondays they always seem to expect me to actually work for a living...


I seem to have digressed. Par for the course ain't it. And I will not digress into golf. I. Will. Not.

This was supposed to be about my weekend in Ottawa.

Let's start again.

I went to Ottawa to meet XUP and Violet Sky - and a passel of Ottawa bloggers I pretty much had no idea actually existed for the most part.

'Twas lovely it was.

Things I learned this weekend:
  • Ottawa bloggers are cool. They meet up once in a while and have Saturday brunches. Hell, I know of two Montreal-ish English bloggers, and though we've been in contact, I've not met either of them. It's a shame really. Paula and Bonnie, I'm talking to you.
  • The Ottawa Tulip Festival (the biggest in the whole wide world - prolly 'cause it's the only one) attracts LOTS of Japanese. Lots. Really. Oodles of 'em. Sorta like fall in Quebec attracts them. It's sorta scary actually. They are everywhere, taking pics of themselves taking pics of themselves taking pics of each other. The relationship of the Japanese to cameras is strange to say the least.
  • Frigid weather and rain make for cool pics of flowers with drops of water on them, but really, who gives a shit about drops of water on tulips. I mean seriously, this pic has been taken a million times - and way better. And Blogger, bloody minded thing that it it wouldn't let me put the pic here unless I go into HTML and do a copy/paste there and I did it so FUCK YOU Blogger and that's all I have to say about that  and yes, XUP I know: WORDPRESSS.
  • It seems the Parliament buildings are not "just a pile of stones" and that I will never live down having said that they were. In my defense, I was cold!
  • It seems the Portage buildings (one of the big government complexes) ARE just a pile of ugly. 
  • A women's weekend is truly something every woman should experience periodically.  Much as I love Mr. Jazz, an estrogen weekend is something he cannot provide - even though he feeds me.
  • The By Ward Market. It's where Obama bought his cookies. It's one of Canada's oldest and largest markets. And the inside part of it has this creepy sculpture hanging from the ceiling. Look, the guy's apron has BLOOD painted on it! I might have creepy ideas, like looking at my face with my eyes hanging out, but damned if I'd do a sculpture with a guy holding a pig (4-2 Habs from what I hear) with blood on his apron. 'Cause, yeah, we all know he's gonna slit that pig's throat (and to hell with Blogger for not lettting me upload. I'll have to try tomorrow. Who knows I might get lucky - yes XUP, i know, WORDPRESS...)  Update: This morning Blogger seems to be in  a better mood, here's the pic
    • *le sigh*
    • Drinking chocolate milk (through a straw no less) is so many levels of wrong when you're an adult and eating a plate beyond full of beef. Imagine it. A huge plate of roast beef, a domino size of salad and a potato... and a glass of chocolate milk. With a strwa. NO! it wasn't me. But you gotta admit that this image, this whole idea, is beyond wrong. And XUP - she provides a mean colour commentary regarding chocolate milk and beef. A commentary involving stomachs exploding in the middle of the night. Hell yeah!
    • On the drive home I noticed that Ontarians generally drive in the right lane and use the left to pass and get right back into the right lane. Probably 80% of cars that drove in the left lane just because it was there were Quebecers. We're such scofflaws we are (have you ANY idea how long I've been waiting to use the word scofflaw? Thank you Quebec drivers for helping me to do so). The law - Pffft.
    • There is something inherently wrong about snow on May 9. Even if it's just flurries. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Sometimes I hate this country. Y'all are suprised to hear that eh? I had to say y'all, it warms me up.
    • 4-3 for the Habs. Game over. Heh. I said they'd win. No one believes me. Probably cause I'm not a fan. But I know. It's my superpower. Except when it doesn't work. Which is 50% of the time. But tonight I got it right. Hopefully I'll do as well in the World Cup this summer. That is one series I'll watch. Me and Violet Sky.... yep.
    OK, 'nuf of this going on and on and on... I'm going to bed.  'Night all.


    Gaelyn said...

    Meeting fellow bloggers is almost as much fun as reading your posts. Yea for estrogen days!

    geewits said...

    Chocolate milk? What, are you 8? Like I told V, I would have dragged you all into a fun pub with a fireplace and we would all have been singing songs we didn't know. Because you need to have a special party to get over snow on May 9th.

    Guillaume said...

    So far, I never had a blogger meeting. I should try. I have family living close to Ottawa, but I have to confess I never liked the place.

    VioletSky said...

    Re: driving on the right - I noticed that too!! Believe you me it does not happen on the QE or tthe Gardiner!(that is the Toronto highway and Toronto-Niagara highway for you out of towners reading this) I found it refreshing and civilized and I felt proud.

    I think I might post a photo of the day of the parliament buildings on my blog...

    Jazz said...

    Gaelyn - Meeting bloggers does rock.

    Geewits - Neither of us were drinking it! We were, as adults are wont to do, drinking booze. It's the old guy with the pants up under his armpits at the table next to us and the woman we surmise was his wife... And their creepy tenant or whatever he was. There's a whole post to be done on that particular trio...

    Guillaume - Let me know next time you come to Montreal. We'll meet. As for Ottawa, it's all purty and stuff, but it's a bureaucrat town like Quebec city. And it shows.

    Violet - So that means it's Ottawayans (or whatever they're called) who obey the law. Who knew!

    Big Brother said...

    Oh yes Ottawa/Gtatineau... got to know the place quite well while Mrs. BB was working there. Good pubs and bike paths, it was fun while it lasted.

    furiousBall said...

    nothing would make me happier than a Flyers-Habs Eastern Conf final. Go Habs!

    Anonymous said...

    I don't think Ottawa has pubs with fireplaces - or if they do they'd only have the fireplaces on in January and February because those are the rules and we do everything by the rules. As I suggested to someone on my blog, I think we need to get a busload of local bloggers together and do a visiting tour of all the US bloggers' home towns.

    rachel said...

    This post made me laugh almost as much as your rants do. You ramble so well!

    Also, I will never for the life of me ever understand the strange workings of the Japanese. But I try not to worry about it, bacause they must be doing something right, since they made sushi, zen art, and haikus.

    Jazz said...

    BB - And ugly ass Portage buildings. Damn that place is ugly.

    Furball - And the HAB would blow you outta the water! And probably my saying that has just sealed their fate. Karma is a bitch.

    XUP - How cool would a blog tour be! Go organize it!

    Rachel - I ramble a lot / A tendency made much worse / By the meno brain.

    Big Brother said...

    That's where Mrs. BB used to work. It's huge but I'll grant that it's ugly also.

    Jocelyn said...

    You used "scofflaw"!

    Okay, I'm like you. As in, "scofflaw" use makes my day.

    I'm a bit envious of all this meeting-up business, even though I can see it being nervewracking too (dropping the veil and entering real life and all...)

    Anonymous said...

    Scofflaw is good. Try for yegg sometime, it's a favorite of mine. And snow May 9 makes me want to puke. Every time I've been in the US, like just last week, I think if only they had a decent fucking health plan, relocation wouldn't bother me a bit, especially after passing through the anal assholes (is that redundant?)on the Canuck side of border crossings.

    secret agent woman said...

    Glad you had a good visit.

    I know people complain about blogger all the time, but I think Blogger blogs look better than Wordpress blogs. There, I said it.

    And oh my God, that poor piggy. That makes me want to cry.

    Suldog said...

    I'll limit my commentary to saying that I've enjoyed many a pepper steak and cheese sub sandwich accompanied by chocolate milk, and I'm not dead ye

    Voyager said...

    I lived in Ottawa for some of my childhood, and remember it as an uptight, homogenous, dowdy town. Except during the tulip festival, but that's only a week. But what a great idea having a blogger meet-up.

    alison said...

    I, not being a scofflaw, do the drive on the right thing. It was cool meeting you. It's been a long time since people stood on a balcony and yelled down that they wanted to kiss me. A really long time.