Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Keep an o-pun mind....

As I have nothing stellar to say today. This is definitely groan inducing, but amusing nevertheless...

- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
- Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
- Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
- Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine.
- A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
- Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
- When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
- Definition of a will: A dead give away.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed.
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
- Every calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small mediumatlarge.
- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
- Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Hello, my name is Jazz and I ....

... am a serial sneezer. The concept of one sneeze seems to escape me. Whenever I sneeze it's five to 10 times in a row, which can be embarassing in some situations. I'm also incapable of sneezing quietly. Damn.

... see faces everywhere. I see faces in carpet, in the floor tiles, in shadows, in the patterns of just about everything. The few times I've pointed out faces to others they have looked at me as though I'm insane, I probably am.

... have two bamboo plants on my desk which for some reason are growing like wildfire. I usually kill plants really quickly. Go figure. Now I feel responsible for keeping them alive. Ain't that just the kicker, they've survived so now if (when) they die I'll feel guilty about it. It's tough being me.

.... have no idea what to write about today, though I absolutely feel that I must write.

*********

T (the new american friend coming to live here as posted earlier) and I have been emailing back and forth for the past few days. I think I was cloned without ever knowing it. She is frighteningly like me (insert Twilight Zone music here). It's gonna be nice to have her around. Or it will be hell; finding myself hanging around with a clone! *shudder* Seriously, I hope she and her manthing will be living in town rather than up in the Laurentians. 'Cause I know it's gonna be so cool to have her here despite the drama her departure is causing at the other end of the continent. Me, I'm doing a happy dance.

*********

Family issues are taking me to Detroit for the weekend. Other members of the family here will be going too. The whole thing is becoming insane. Hotel rooms seem to be an issue of the "well would you mind if such and such stayed in the same room as you so we can cut costs by renting one less room" kind. Such and such being the cousin of Mr. Jazz's mother. To give you an idea, Mr. J and I are in our 40s.

Um, how could I put this politely. No. That is so not gonna happen. I am not about to share a hotel room with some guy I have met twice in my life and didn't much like either time.

I'm way past sharing rooms with strangers. Were I 20, perhaps. Were he poor as a churchmouse, perhaps (and what about the poverty of churchmice? Are they really that much poorer than other mice? but I digress) - or more likely I'd pay him a room. But this is not the case here and I don't care who it annoys but I'm not doing it. I know this is gonna be a shitty weekend and there is no way I'm not gonna have my space. End of disucssion.

Signed Jazz, the evil bitch.

Friday, January 20, 2006

I've been tagged

I've been tagged by Sharma, and since this is a first for me, I'm going to give it a go:

Three jobs you have had:
- Manning a booth for the Quebec Winter Carnival at the Old Port in Quebec in the middle of summer. Fuckin' lame-ass job...
- Working in a jewelry store when I first arrived in Montreal, indulging in my silver fetish
- Temping for an agency as an Admin at IBM while they were "downsizing" (read firing people left right and centre). It was, to say the least, an "interesting" atmosphere to work in.

Three movies you could watch over and over again:
- The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (thank god there are three, that really lets me off the hook!)

Three places you have lived:
- Nova Scotia
- Chicoutimi, Québec
- Québec City (well Orsainville - which was a suburb of KBC but everything has been merged so, close enough)

Three shows you love to watch:
- Amazing Race
- Survivor* (to my everlasting shame, I have become a Survivor junkie - besides Jeff Probst is nice to look at - and... um... fantasi... nope, think about)
- Lost* (mmmmmm Sayid..... )

Three places you've vacationed:
- Nepal
- Indonesia
- Vietnam (the bestest)

Three websites you visit each day:
- Blue Poppy
- Paula Becker
- Wee
- And PostSecret on Mondays.
<===== the links are on the right. I'm in no mood to go into HTML mode, so just click on your own if you're interested.

Three favourite foods:
- Tea (yes it IS a food, so there)
- Chocolate (well duh)
- Jerked chicken (by Mr. Jazz)

Three places you'd rather be:
- Europe
- California
- Just about anywhere that isn't cold

Three bloggers you are tagging:
- Blue Poppy(though she's already done a similar one where she had to put 7 things - hell, this should be a piece of cake if she takes me up on it)
- Carolyn (I love her drawings)**
- Paula (Ditto)**



* In case you think I spend my time fantasizing about inaccessible hotties, I have a very accessible hottie right at home, thank you very much...

* Disclaimer: For any nieces and/or nephews reading this, no your aunt does NOT do the nasty. Ever. She's so over that. Much too old. It doesn't ever ever happen. She only ever did it once, to see what all the fuss was about.

** Hello, my name is Jazz, and I am a drawing blog whore.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

There are bad days and then there are BAD days

Not a good day. Not at all.

Last night I had my two remaining cats put dow... no, I didn't have them put down, I didn't have them put to sleep. I had them killed. Why try to make it sound nicer than it is? Why use euphemism? I made the decision to have my cats killed. OK, we made the decision Mr. Jazz and I. A long time ago, probably 4-5 months back, but it took us all this time to actually work up the nerve to go through with it.

There are numerous reasons, good reasons (or bad, depending on your view of things). They were old and sick and we didn't have the hundreds and hundreds of dollars required to postpone the inevitable. So, after postponing the inevitable a few months we went and did it.

And now it's done. And I have no more cats. This is the fourth time the decision was taken, but it's by far the worst. This time there were no more cats to cuddle when I got home. This time I'm officially catless for the first time in 18 years since Mr. Jazz and I got together. This time it hurts so damn much more. These two I had raised from the moment they were weaned.

I had never had animals before hooking up with him, though I absolutely loved them. Mom didn't want pets and when I left home, my schedule didn't permit, then the boyfriend was allegic...

This morning I kept looking for them, I went to feed them, I missed the morning cuddle... it sucks. It so desperately sucks.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Winter elections

Elections in Canada are next Monday the 23rd. We have polls coming out the ears, with all of them pretty much agreeing that the Liberals are in trouble. Well, duh, we pretty well all knew that didn't we?

Every day, another couple are published. Enough already! I can't help but wonder how they sway people's opinions. You're undecided, you keep hearing that such and such a party is going to win, might the polls sway you in one direction or another? I'm sure the tons of polls have an effect.

Yesterday they published a lame ass poll in our riding. Apparently Jean Lapierre, who's in right now, is barely hanging on by the skin of his teeth. This in a traditionally Liberal riding. Usually, they could present a slug and it would win. And they probably have more than once. Actually I'd be more than happy if the arrogant, condescening prick lost, but I digress.

The point is, only 300 people were interviewed for this poll. It has a inaccuracy rating of 6%. SIX PERCENT!! That's huge! What's the point of even publishing a poll like that? It has a zero credibility rating. ZERO.

Guess it gives the media something to talk about on a newsless day. *shakes head*

OK, 'nuff politics. Politics bore me. Besides, whether the Liberals get back in or the Conservatives move them out, it's the same damn thing. So, like, whatever Dude....

Who, me? Cynical?

And to add insult to injury, I have to go vote in winter. In the deep dark cold of a bleak January evening. That hurts.

We're already half way through January. Thank god for small favours. January is hard. I've always hated winter (and wouldn't you know I live in a country that's a fucking freezer six months out of the year!). And Janary is the pits. Of course, February is worse and March... I don't want to even think about the horrors of March.

I can't begin to understand how people can actually like winter. I've been trying for 44 years now and it just isn't happening for me. Winter sports? Yeah, right, I'm gonna stand on two sticks and throw myself off a mountain. Sounds like a plan for the woman who has been known to walk through a plate glass door (I'll tell you about that someday, along with other Jazz moments).

The only good point about winter? Drinking Margaritas by the fire at the cottage. That about covers it for me.


*********


Into day 2 of my second week back at the gym. So far the only resolution I've kept. Apparently it takes about three months to ingrain a habit. So I still have two and a half months and three days to go. To think that I went to the gym for 5 or so years straight, where I could take a week off and feel lumpy and be raring to get back in the gym the next week.

How stupid was it of me to stop? No, shaddap, that was a rhetorical question.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Self Esteem Issues

After reading a fellow blogger today I can't help but wonder what the hell is wrong with women. Yes, I know I'm generalizing but this seems very prevalent among the women I know both personally, on forums and in the blogging world.

It's the I'm-such-a-loser/idiot/fool syndrome.

All this guilt over so little, all this putting ourselves down because we made a mistake (how dare you!). It's ugly. We are never good enough, never smart enough, never good looking enough, always too something (fat, stupid, take your pick, you all know what I'm talking about).

Over the past few years, I've been getting better at accepting and liking myself (thank god for the 40s!!), but I still have moments where I simply loathe myself for some percieved fault.

Now, if at least we treated everyone with such contempt. But no, we save our disdain and derision for ourselves. Friends, family, strangers, they're ok. We are the only despicable beings in the bunch.

What the fuck is wrong with us? Where is our self esteem? Why is it so damn hard to accept that we aren't perfect?

Easy as it is, I have problems accepting that it's all the media's fault. Sure, the media portray women as perfectly thin, perfectly put together, perfectly competent, having it all - and perfectly so. But are we really so stupid that we actually believe it, even seeing all the highly imperfect and amazing women around us? Can we really blame the media for it all? Have we not enough brains to think for ourselves? It's sort of scary when you think of it.

So where the hell does it come from, and why do we do this to ourselves? Any ideas?

OK rant over, I'll go beat myself up over something now.
Nope, actually I'm gonna go eat lunch and not feel guilty if it's junky! (Oh, the horror!!!)

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Crap crap crap....

I've been catching up on the blogs I read regularly...

They're witty.
I suck

They're funny.
I suck

They're interesting
I suck

They make me laugh
I suck

They're well written
I suck

They.... damn, I really got a rythm going here, don't I?
But still, I suck.
Ever have days like that?

And don't they just look like the happiest of couples
(on Google: 1900 photographs)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

To new friends, despite not having the words

I have fallen head over heels in like. It happened on New Years Eve. A "coup de foudre" as we say in French. Sounds much better than the English "love at first sight", it means literally, a lightening bolt.

So yeah I met this woman (T) and we hit it off to an amazing extent. I haven't felt this way about a new friend in the longest time. Right away, when we started talking it was as if we'd known each other forever. Her boyfriend (the original friend, aka P) had predicted that we would hit it off...

Funny enough, I could be her mother (well, if I had had her at 16...), and yet we are so very much on the same wavelength. P says that's because we're both smartasses. He's probably right, but hopefully there's more to this new friendship than "smartassiness".

T will be moving here from across the continent (Seattle) in a couple of months to be with him and I wish them all the best. Hopefully she won't find it too hard - after all she's leaving everything - friends, family, job for a place with a whole different language and culture. That takes guts. It has to be incredibly difficult. I seriously don't think I'd be able to do it. There's one major difference between us right there, I'm getting old an set in my ways, and ain't that a bitch to realize.

I was all set to write a long entry about how this is probably/hopefully the beginning of a great friendship, but I can't seem to get what's in my brain all the way to my fingers.

Suddenly, things are bleh. All of a sudden. I was feeling great until, in a half hour, my mood crashed like a ten-ton truck into a brick wall. It sucks.

OK, 'nuff said.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

De-lurking and dentists

Nice alliteration there eh?

In honour of de-lurking week, you must leave a comment on the blogs you visit. Failing to do so will result in the gods of blogging striking you down! Be afraid, be very very afraid! *

*********
This being said....
Yesterday evening the Jazzer went to the dentist to have an old filling replaced. What fun!
As I lay there in the chair, crappy dentist "sunglasses" on my face, staring nervously into the "interrogation" spotlight, I had in my mouth:
- the mirror thingy taht was pushing aside my tongue,
- the waterpiky thing,
- the vacuum cleaner, and
- the drill.
I couldn't help but wonder how the hell they managed to cram all that in there. Yes, yes, I know, I have a big mouth, but it's a figurative big mouth, ya know?
And the drill. The drill would merit an entry all its own, high as it is on the horror scale. I know this wasn't The Marathon Man (showing my age here), but still. The buzz in your brain as the thing eats away the old fillings. The smell of burning tooth. The crud that inevitably accumulates at the back of our mouth that you body desperately commands you to swallow - which you can't do because your mouth is open wider than a mouth should ever be unless you're a garter snake swallowing a field mouse. The bright shiny sharp (!!) instruments handed back and forth before your eyes. Just thinking of it has me shuddering again.
The question begs an answer. Why does one become a dentist? Of course we thank the gods of candy that they do, but what can possess a person to spend their life rooting around in other people's mouths? Drilling teeth, filling teeth, capping teeth, root canaling teeth...
Do future dentists actually say: Damn teeth and cavities are so fascinating that I'm gonna make a career out of them?
Or do they have powe issues? I'm in your chair, you have a power tool drilling away in my mouth... you have my total and absolute submission. I am your bitch.
Latent sadism perhaps?
Enquiring minds wanna know.
*Are you afraid yet? Didn't think so. *sigh*
OK, why are my returns not showing up??

Monday, January 09, 2006

Runaway cow

I'm becoming vegetarian.*

Runaway cow


*Thanks to Paula Becker for the link on her blog. I love her illustrations.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Dear....

Dear Men on Busses,

Why do you insist on sitting with your legs wide open? Are you airing the jewels? Hoping we’ll notice them through your pants? Do you think we actually care?

We don’t. Really. We are not impressed.

We are especially not impressed when two of you are sitting there with your legs open and an empty seat between you and the next guy with his legs wide open. I personally am not impressed when I want to sit in that empty seat and have to squeeze between your respective legs (which neither of you is willing to close).

Do us all a favour and close the legs already. I promise you will NOT look like a pussy if you do so, whereas you look like a Neanderthal with the legs open.

Oh, and by the way, please take a little less space while reading the financial and sports pages of the paper. I’m not THAT fond of the smell of newsprint.

Pissed offedly,

Jazz


Dear Subway Commuters,

There is something you need to know about the subway. There are not separate in and out doors. While you are shoving to get in, people are trying desperately to get out. If you actually wait for them to exit, you will have an easier time of trampling others who are waiting to get in, since they won’t be kept on their feet by the people trying to exit.

It’s quite easy actually, even though the concept might be hard to grasp. All you have to do is let people exit, THEN you can trample, maim and mutilate anyone standing in front of you to get in the subway car. Much more satisfying all around.

Sarcastically,

Jazz


Dear People with Cellphones,

Look, seriously. A bit of discretion is a good thing.

I don’t want to know all about your date yesterday while I’m in the bus.

I don’t care whether what brand of toilet paper you buy. Don’t call home, make an executive decision for crissake. What did you do before cell phones?

Please do not subject me to your inane cell phone chatter any more. Are you doing this to prove you have a life? It’s not working, actually you seem to have even less of one. A little bit of mystery is a good thing.

Cellphonelessly,

Jazz


Dear Canadian Tire**,

The outlet closest to me is situated right under an office tower on the way into the subway. By knowing this, you will realize that your highest traffic takes place from noon - 2:00 and between 5:00 - 6:30. The store is always PACKED at these hours.

You have 6 (yes, I counted) cash registers in this store, all waiting patiently to seperate us from our hard earned dollars. And obviously, we are willing to hand them over if we are in the store.
Why then, I ask, are there never more than two cashes (three on a good day) open at any one time? The lines snake back into the store, people become frustrated, hell even I become frustrated, and waiting usually doesn't bother me since I always have a book on hand.

Perhaps customer satisfaction is not high on your agenda. This I can understand, after all you're a retailer and customer satisfaction is not often at the top of the list for many retailers.

At least think of your poor cashiers. The abuse they take, these poor girls, from frustrated shoppers! OY! You couldn't pay me enough to take that abuse, and god knows, you don't pay them enough. Plus there's that red shirt uniform they have to wear! Do they have to pay for those themselves? Probably. In that case they deserve a good looking uniform.

Snarkily,

Jazz

** A sort of Canadian (surprise surprise) "hardware" store. They sell paint and hammers, lamps and cleaning products, tires and rat poison, skates and garden hoses, alernators and car carpets. You see the type of place. CT is an integral part of the Canadian landscape.

Just a quickie

You have to check out this blog. It's absolutely hilarious: What NOT to crochet....

http://whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com/

Thursday, January 05, 2006

One of those days....

I went to Winners today to kill the time after lunch. As I left, the alarm system went off. Mr. Security Guy comes running, “Madam, will you please step back into the store?” In the voice of a wannabe cop who’s thrilled to have something to do and would like nothing better than to scream “On the ground! Hands behind your head!”

So I came back into the store (not that I had actually left it, I stepped back in on my own after the machine started screeching, after all, I had nothing to hide).

“May I look in your purse M’aam?”
“Sure, go ahead”

He gives me back the bag – I walk through again. The electronic no-thief-will-get-past-us machine screeches anew.

“Would you step back in please and hand me your purse?”
“Here you go”

I step through again. You guessed it:

“Would you step back in please and open your jacket?”

The wannabe is itching to frisk me because hey, he’s a wannabe cop and never got to frisk anyone before. So I tell him, “Here take my jacket I’ll go through again”

Screech.

Actually this is beginning to get hilarious. Mr. Security Guy is getting red in the face. He invites me back in (well of course he does! He’s a very conscientious guy). Me, meh, been there done that, he could’ve called the cops if he wants, I’d done nothing wrong.

I unzip my sweater, saying “See, nothing”

He splutters.

“The next step is that I take off all my clothes and walk thought naked. You don’t want that, it might scar these nice people who are staring at us for life” Course I didn’t really say that, I just wanted to. Badly. What the hell did he think I did, swallow a sweater whole?

Poor wannabe cop had to let me leave. His frustration was palpable. He probably had a hard on at the idea of actually "arresting" someone. I could almost see him wither...

As I said, been there done that. For a period of about six months while I was in university, every time I left a store (and often when I went in) I’d set the alarms off (insert spooky music here). If I recall, my sister at one point had the same type of problem. She’d put a watch on and it would stop working within the hour. Must be our magnetic personalities…

That or we’re really extraterrestrials here to take over the world. You’ll never know! Mwwwahahaha

Fashion statements, mortality, and brothers

Drumroll please.

I finally got myself THE COAT. A long winter coat, to wear with skirts and such. My last one lasted 20 years (I kid you not) and it was way overdue for retirement. The problem is, I absolutely LOATHE buying coats, which is why I put it off so long and was now at a point where I really really needed a new coat. No, I lie, I loathe buying the dressy type of coat, down jackets and such I have absolutely no problem with - I could buy one a month.

So I bought a coat. A green coat. I don't like it, I don't dislike it, it leaves me cold (no pun intended).

It was on sale, and there was no tax that day. A good point in its favour. It's long, the zipper opens from the bottom, it has a hood. Three more points in its favour. It is the clone of 300,000 other coats in Montreal, and it makes me feel like a frumpy middle aged lady, but hey, I am a middle aged lady, ain't I? (OK, OK, middle aged, I'm not a lady by any stretch of the imagination...)

It's very - to quote Marilla (I think that's her name) the lady who adoped Anne, in Anne of Green Gables - "serviceable". Damn, I hate that word, always have since I read the book. In my mind serviceable = UGLY. Though it isn't an ugly coat. It's just.... drab, boring, lacklustre. It makes me feel as old as I am, older. How pathetic is it that a coat can make me feel one way or another. It's just a coat, dammit! Get a grip Jazz.

Well there is a good side, this one will definitely not last 20 years. And lets face it, there's a definite peri-menopausal hormonal dip present in my assessment of the coat this morning - though I doubt I'll ever end up loving it.

*********

Further in the fashion file: I saw a woman today who had a black hat on. Nice hat actually, except that it had ears on it. Seriously. Kitten ears. Now this was not a six year old child. This was a 30 year old woman. Now, Jazz is not a fashionista (hell, you all know about the coat), but jesus murphy, a wool cap with kitten ears? When it's not halloween and you're not a six year old? There is no excuse. None. No, really, NONE. Lose the hat lady, if you're reading this!

*********

Mr. Jazz got a phone call from his aunt last night. His other aunt (the one in Michigan) is having triple bypass surgery this morning. She went for a routine checkup last week, had some tests done and they let her know that they were scheduling a bypass. And she had never felt iffy, always top notch.

Thank god she's in the States, had she been in Quebec, she probably would have had to wait until she actually had a heart attack.
Somehow, all of a sudden it seems important that I call my Dr. for that annual checkup I've been putting off for thee years....
*********
I gave my brother the URL to this blog. What was I thinking? He is now privy to all my deepest thoughts on green coats and kitty eared winter hats!
However, since he does now have this address, I will feel free to share some of the tortures that make me what I am today. Torture he is responsible for. Of course, I guess that's what big brothers are for, eh D? And that, obviously is the problem with being the youngest, there's no one you can torture in return. It's patenly unfair. But such is life.
Seriously though, he's a sweetheart he is my bro. He didn't torture me all that much. Honest!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

God and bad drivers

Well, I have to admit, despite my agnosticism, after lunch today realized that I might actually have proof that God exists.

And no, it has nothing to do with the "anti-resolution" meal I had.

On my way to lunch, along a busy street (St-Catherine Street for those in the know), I see a car (snazzy sports model Infiniti) start up the street in reverse, squealing wheels, the whole works. It’s driver had seen a parking space. He* tears up to the spot, almost taking of the front of the car that was pulling out of the parking spot.

Throws the car into forward, wheels squealing (again) and does about 20 meters so the other car can pull out. On the way he almost tears the door off a car that had parked a little earlier – and in doing so, almost took a leg off the hapless other driver.

Slams into reverse again, wheels squealing (this was really starting to get old, but I couldn’t help watching, sort of the train wreck thing syndrom, ya know?). On the way to the parking space, he almost (once again) takes the front of a second car that was pulling out.

By now it had become horribly fascinating. Was anyone going to die?

Slams himself into gear (again), squeals down the street (again); the other car manages to leave, amazingly enough, intact.

Again ito reverse, more squealing, and the jerk parks his car.

You don’t see a god’s hand yet? You will.

On the way back to work from lunch, there was the car, with a ticket, the idiot had parked in front of a fire hydrant…




* Disclaimer: I have nothing against males, but it had to be a guy. Apologies to any men reading who feel discriminated against.

New Year's Resolutions

Ok, I lied in that other post when I said I hadn't made any resolutions. I mean, c'mon people, between public humiliation and lies, lies are always easier.

However, since public humiliation is always so much more amusing (admit it, you like it too, well mild public humilation at any rate), I figured I'd post my "the trouble with resolutions" story....

*********

I usually steer clear of resolutions since somehow they never work out and I just end up feeling like a failure. Only a bit of a failure mind you; I keep my "Ohmygod I'm such a loser" hysterics for more important things like burning a cake or failing to dust and vacuum yet again.

This year however, I resolved to resolve.

That first resolution went ok. I made the resolutions.

I resolved to eat better (and yesterday noon ate a burger, fries and a soda).

I resolved to get my butt back to the gym (and didn't even come close to even THINKING about getting my ass out of bed this morning, much less actually making it to the gym).

January 3 and already two resolutions blown.... it ain't lookin' good people! **

Now I recall why I stopped making resolutions all those years ago. I actually like to wallow in my mediocrity, it's so much less effort than striving for perfection. Besides, perfection is highly overrated. It's my mediocrity that makes me so damn lovable... (Who me? Delusional? I am not. I'm just very talented when it comes to rationalisation. I am the Queen, no, what say I? The Empress of Rationalisation.)






** Disclaimer: Jazz is in no way shape or form devastated by her lack of resolve. It's just proof that resolutions are not a way of life for her - unless of course she resolves to go to her favourite restaurant once a month. That year's resolution had worked out very well indeed.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Amazon comes through...

I just found out from my aunt that the books I had ordered from Amazon have arrived. Most notably: Creative License. I love Danny Gregory's books. Check out his website at www.dannygregory.com. The man is a brilliant artist.

Now I know what I'm going to be doing tonight.

The rodent - the end

Well, first off, Happy New Year to everyone. May 2006 be everything you want it to be.

*********

We went to the cottage over the holidays.

Checked the traps.

No squirrel. He left by however he came in I suppose. Was I thrilled? Oh yeah. I was sort of rooting for the little bugger so I was quite content to not have to throw his little corpse into the garbage.

That was the high point of the holidays. I obviously lead a terribly exciting life.

*********

I feel as though I should have tons to say for the new year. I was actually quite looking forward to updating, but I'm having problems even making it this far in the entry.

So far 2006 is singularly uninspiring.

Resolutions? Meh, can't be bothered since I never keep them anyway. Besides, even if I did make resolutions, I wouldn't post them here. Making them public holds me accountable, so I'd fail doubly when I didn't keep them.

OK, one resolution: keep this up, hopefully with an inspired post here and there. Which is obviously NOT happening so far this year.

Just shoot me now. *rolls eyes*