Thursday, January 21, 2010

Move over Shakespeare!

Can't think
Brain numb
Inspiration won't come

Weather's bleah
All grey
Need some sun to want to play

Job's crap
What's my goal
Seems I'm stuck in a deep dark hole

Family, well
That's OK
Something at least is goin' my way

Can't think
Brain dead
Inanity trundles through my head

* I can't help but find it somewhat creepy how Will's head somehow seems to not be attached to his body, like it's been lopped off and then balanced on his collar...

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sometimes you just gotta make a stand. Thanks Keith

From Pat Robertson:

From Rush Limbaugh

And from Keith Olbermann: 

Thank you Thank You THANK YOU !!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Well hell, two posts in a day

Because I totally forgot until I checked out Alison's blog and she reminded me...


This is the day to comment on blogs. To all you people who read but never ever comment, make yourselves known if only for this one day. Leave a comment. Be seen! Be heard! I'd love to know who you are.

C'mon I double dare you.

Ian, this one's for you!!!

Brought to you by LIFE:

When Flying was fun - Those were the days!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Logistics, Logistics, Logistics


Over the past few weeks, Mr. Jazz and I have become hooked on the series everyone is talking about, Mad Men. Or maybe it's the series everyone was talking about because though we're well into the first season, apparently this series has been around for three seasons already. We can be a bit slow on the uptake Mr. Jazz and I.

It's a great series, about advertising executives on Madison (Mad) Avenue during the early sixties. Ah the sixties, such a wholesome era it was!

OK, screeching halt here. Lets just say the series shows pretty well that people will be people whatever era they live in.

So anyway, no major spoiler here - one of the characters is cheating on his wife (oh la la!!, who knew Tiger and Clinton weren't the first?)

And while watching the show I pointed out to Mr. Jazz that hey, isn't it bizarre. The ubiquitous cell phone is nowhere to be seen!

Which in turn brought out the observation: I wonder if it wasn't easier to cheat on your spouse in those days than it is today. Logisitcally speaking of course.

Obviously, if you want to be cheatin' nothing's going to stop you. But does all the technology we have to "simplify" our lives help at all?

On the one hand, back in the dark ages you could phone home and simply say "I'm dining with a client" and you were incommunicado from then on.

On the other hand, cell phones are very useful contact the "partner in crime"

On the other hand (yes! didn't you know I have hands sprouting all over my body, a regular octopus I am), if you don't answer said cell when the spouse calls because you happen to be doing the horizontal boogie with said partner in crime, questions will be raised.

On yet another hand - well I'm not sure I have another hand.

Point is, technology was supposed to simplify our lives overall. Microwaves and GPSs seem to have done so, but  I tend to think that having a cellphone would complicate things somewhat if you're thinking of cheating on a spouse. If of course said spouse tends to call you at all hours.

But I don't have a cell phone so what do I know.

So now it's your turn. I don't often ask you to weigh in, but let me know what you think.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Seen on Facebook

You know, in that bar to the right, the one with all the (dare I call them stupid?) ads:

- Five foods for a flat belly - it seems these foods will burn your stomach fat. If you belive this, obviously FB has been burning your brain cells

- Three foods you should never eat - Because these foods will promote stomach fat.

My question is, if you eat the five and also the three, will you still be ahead by two?

My mathematical skills are still intact - though this calculation pretty much taxed them to their limit.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

And they raised the price of stamps!

I was incredibly thrilled to have such a great post for you!

You see, over my vacation I was in Korea (I think) and at one point wandering through a backwater market I happened upon The Bay. (The Bay for all you Americans out there is the national department store of Canadia - somewhere between JC Penney and Saks on the department store scale. Macy's perhaps? I have no clue).

I was flabbergasted I was!  I walked in and a lady said to me: Good Afternoon Ms. Jazz (in a delightful Asian accent).

- ?!?!?!  How do you know my name?
- Oh, security out back scans everyone entering with that camera and matches you against our international database and gives me your name through this speaker in my ear. If you're a thief, murderer or terrorist you won't be allowed in.
- !?!?!?!

I couldn't help but think that maybe they should let the US use that technology on planes.
And then I thought, there's a damn good blog post in this.
And then the alarm clock went off.

And I woke up, and when I was awake enough to function - after I had had my shower and was half dressed - it dawned on me that I didn't have a blog post after all. And it pissed me off.

Because the whole "My Resolutions" post, not so much thank you. (Besides, it's the 6th, isn't it too late for a New Years post?)  I'm too old to be into resoultions. Been there, done that, couldn't be bothered to either keep them or feel guilty about it.  If I had kept all my resolutions I would weigh about -95 lbs, have read all of Proust and never said fuck again.

Hasn't happened.

I read somewhere in the past week that we should not actually make resolutions. Resolutions set us up for failure you see. Instead we should have intentions or goals. What the hell is that? Is an intention or a goal less binding than a resolution so that, after three nanoseconds of "I intend to never eat chocolate again" when you don't manage it any more than if you had "resolved not to eat any chocolate" you'll feel less guilty about it?

And I shall spare you all a rant on the stupidity of a society where everything has to be safe and easy and one should never ever be too hard on oneself because damn, one might realise that one isn't all that special, and is basically just a cog in the machine. 

Stupid-ass mollycoddling* I say!  (I'd never say stupid-ass either if I had kept my resolutions).

Stand up! Take responsibility for yourself !  If, like me, you are so lacking in moral fibre, willpower or masochism, that you're unable to keep a resolution, intentions and goals won't work either. Within four days, you'll be back to your comfy habits, intentions all shot to hell. Though maybe intentions are less guilt inducing than resolutions. Or something. If you're into guilt over drunken promises made after taking stock of your life during a New Years party, go ahead, intend and resolve to your hearts content.

Me, not so much.

Who was it that said: Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you die ?  The guy had a point.

Have a good year y'all - and no, the title has nothing to do with anything, someone just now passed that nugget of information on to me.

* Let me edumacate you in these early days of 2010 (won't happen too often I'd say - usually when I don't know something I don't bother to look it up, I ask XUP because she is all knowing she is. Next best thing to god) - The origins of the word mollycolddle:  

To "mollycoddle" someone is, of course, to pamper the person in an extremely attentive and solicitous fashion. As you found, "mollycoddle" is an extreme form of "coddle," which, when it first appeared in English around 1598 meant "to boil gently" (from the Latin "calidum," hot drink). The "gentle" aspect of "coddle" led, around 1815, to its figurative use to mean "nurse," "pamper" or "treat as an invalid," the sense found in "mollycoddle."

Decoding the "molly" in "mollycoddle" brings us to the noun form of "mollycoddle," which means "a pampered weakling" or "a sissy." "Molly" is indeed a "pet form" of the name Mary, often used in slang as a disparaging term for a prostitute or criminal's companion (as in a gangster's "moll"), but also contemptuous slang for a weak or ineffectual man. So to "mollycoddle" someone, in the original sense of the term, is to treat him or her in the delicate fashion a "molly" must be "coddled." "Mollycoddle" first appeared in English as a noun around 1833 and the verb form was in use by 1870.