Tuesday, July 20, 2010

There are things I like.

There are things I like immensely.

There are things I do not like at all.

I like certain things in my mouth. However, these things tend to be things I put there myself - like food.

These things do not include metal picks and water spraying ultrasound thingies, plastic vacuum cleaners and little round mirrors.

Nor do they include rubber clad fingers poking around.

Nope.  Not a fan. Truth be told, these things disgust me beyond what would be natural for some reason. Having this crap in my mouth makes me want to hurl. This is not good when you're lying in a chair with your head lower than your feet.

The buzz of the ultrasound inside my brain. The scrape scrape of  the... oh god whatever they call that thing along my teeth which is marginally (but only very very marginally) better. OK, no it isn't, It's nasty as all get out. I was trying to be positive but I was shuddering as I wrote it. It lasted less than an hour but felt like forever at least. I can only imagine the hell it must be for those with lots of tartar buildup.

I hate dentists. I hate dental hygienists. There is a special place reserved in hell for those people. Probably as assistants to the Evil One. Come to think of it, Satan is probably a dentist.

All in all, not the best way to end a day, espcially  after spending two and a half - no, actually two hours and 42 minutes (!!!) taking the minutes of the mostest useless meeting evah! It could have been over in an hour tops had they just stuck to the stupid ass agenda... But that's work. It has no business here.

Thankfully Mr. Jazz had trout and salad waiting for me when I got home. It reconciled me with life in general.

But not dentists. Never ever dentists or the hygienists from hell.


choochoo said...

the last time I went to the dentist, she muttered something about patterns in the bottom of my teeth (?) and had me come back three times *shudder*

lime said...

ok, here's where you become certain of my insanity. i like going to the dentist but i have the reactions you've described when i sit in a hairdresser's chair.

lime said...

ok, maybe "like" isn't the word. but it doesn't bother me at all.

Anonymous said...

I'm currently in the midst of a whole bunch of dental shit, so believe me, I empathize.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how it feels to be a dental person and be so reviled by one and all. I wonder why anyone wants to be a dental person. The dentist -- maybe because they make big bucks - but the others?

geewits said...

I second that!

Anonymous said...

I kinda like the dentist in that my mouth feels smooth and by breath sparkles for several weeks after a cleaning.

I dont have dental insurance so I havent been to a dentist in 5 years.

secret agent woman said...

I would think having to have your hands in someone's mouth would be enough hell.

I hate going, too, except for that little neck massage at the end where the dentist checks for TMJ problems and swollen lymph nodes (At least, I think that's what he's doing. My ex says the same dentist never does that to him.)

Gaelyn said...

Not a fun sounding day, but your way of writing about is fun.

Jazz said...

ChooChoo - Patterns?!? He was making that up.

Lime - You? Insane? Um, yeah.

Ian - Poor poor you.

XUP - Indeed, what can push one to become a hygieniest? The mind boggles.

Geewits - Indeed

Rachel - Ouch. Here's to insurance. Actually it cost something like 120 or so to clean my teeth. What the hell were they doing in there?

SAW - you get a bonus MASSAGE?! Who's your dentist?

Gaelyn - Thanks

Jocelyn said...

What I can never understand is why they keep asking questions and trying to chat, as you sit there with your damn mouth full of their junk.