Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Little bitty spam pearls

Experience safer, longer and more enjoyable sex or have your money back.. (Though its never happened before) 

What hasn't happened before, the more enjoyable sex?  And I have to wonder: safer?? How so? Are they selling you a condom? Actually I wouldn't be surprised.

And this one:

ViaGrow gives you more economic value & pleasure for less money - dont let the financial crunch halt your sex life.

I admit I like this one. In a sea of Viagra ads and "do you want to grow a fatter, longer penis" and "girls will love your huge dick" ads, this one does stand out because despite its lack of apostrophes and the use of ampersands in a sentence - which drives my inner grammar whore insane - I stopped and read it again before I  hit delete.

ViaGrow - sounds like some sort of house plant fertilizer doesn't it? Hmmm come to think of it... but I digress.

Never, ever, not once have I seen a product like this linked to the the recession.

Can't you just picture the banker, sitting at his computer.
"Damned recession, I bought all this commercial paper, lost all my money and now I can't afford my Viagra!! Wait, what's this? ViaGrow? A cheap alternative to the bitty blue boner pill*? I can have sex again? Quickly, I must order this wonderful product now!"
Do people actually fall for it? Do they? Who?  Why?  Seriously, who are these people?

Of course, people fall for the time worn "my father was a murdered African prince and I need your help to get his money out of the country" scam. To the tune of thousands of dollars (and then go on TV to whine about it and you're just sitting there thinking HELLO! imbecile, if it looks too good to be true that's cause it fucking IS! and why aren't you way too horribly embarrassed about being taken in and having your common sense take a back seat to your cupidity to actually talk about this on TV? What is WRONG with you?)

So yeah, I guess ViaGrow the wonder fertilizer isn't that much of a leap of faith, is it?

* An alliterative banker no less!


Gaelyn said...

Guess I'm missing all the fun. I never read the spam mail and just chuckle about the subject lines.

Anonymous said...

I guess they wouldn't be spamming if it wasn't making money. One thing I've discovered is that a lot of people just aren't that smart.

Jazz said...

Gaelyn - me either. Those two were only subject lines.

XUP - Yeah, there are a lot of morons out there.

Guillaume said...

I always wondered who fall for those.

geewits said...

I never get the fun ones anymore. My spam is all "You can go back to school!" and "Earn money at home!"

Now I'm wondering if these spammers know something about us?

tattytiara said...

Now you've got me really curious as to how the recession has affected sales of real viagra. Something tells me it hasn't hurt business, but perhaps it's helped?

Shrinky said...

by I am inundated by these spammers (do I LOOK like a bloke? An impotent one, at that?? Sheesh, bloody cheek..) I saw a doc on telly last week about these folk who tout this. Apparently, the mark up is TEN times more than they can get from selling heroin, so we are talking megga-bucks, here.

Looks like the spammers are here to stay (sigh)..

Jocelyn said...

My Spam filter must be doing its job, as it's been eons since I received any of this stuff.

Incidentally, I've been meaning to tell you that my father was a murdered African prince, and so can I have $5?

secret agent woman said...

Now how do you know what color Viagra is?

Jazz said...

Guillaume - we'll never know.

Geewits - Maybe they figure Texans need education and money vs sex.

Tatty - you't think, eh? When all else fails, get it up.

Shrinky - Suddenly I've gotten to thinking that I should be selling little wonder pills via email.

Joce - they were in my spam filter, but I have to check the damn thing every day as the filter also catches lots of real mail. And if the filters aren't high enough, everything gets through. There's no middle ground with our stupid damn server.

SAW - Who hasn't seen one of the ubiquitous Viagra ads. It's like 99% of the male population can't get it up if you go by their publicity campaign.

lime said...

i have to wonder about folks whose sex life has been hit hart by the recession. i mean, if it costs a lot of money to put tab A in slot B i'm i'm thinking there are other problems...

RCA said...

very nice!