Thursday, May 24, 2007

50 mostly dumb things

Thanks to Ian for this; the perfect antitdote to bloggers block... or at any rate the perfect way for people not to know you have bloggers block, but since I've just proclaimed my problem, there basically is no point now. Or something. Who me? Inchoherent?

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? All of them, they're bills aren't they?

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner? At the cottage, weekend before last. The drinks before dinner, the candles, the music, the wine, the snoring on the couch afterwards...

3. Last time you puked from drinking? In my misbegotten youth, and not much more than a couple of times, I learn my lessons quickly.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Why would I do that, and more to the point, why would I tell?

5. Name of your first grade teacher? I have no idea. I do remember she had poofy hair, was pretty, she smelled nice and hugged us all when we went home after class. Now that I think of it, she was probably 23, though she seemed much older to my 6 year old self.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now? I'd like to be wondering whether I actually feel like be answering 50 questions about myself because I'm blogless. Pretty sure the answer would be "what the hell are you thinking..."

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up? A nurse, a nun (that was way way way back), a doctor, a fireman, a chemist... The list goes on.... and on... and none of those goals were achieved. I started copping out at a young age obviously.

8. How many colleges did you attend? One, Laval University in Quebec City.

9. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now? What a strange question... because pseudo matched my pants.

10. Gas Prices? Yeah. Them.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you? I'd take Mr. Jazz and move to the Arizona desert... I love the desert and I especially love the desert around Tucson and I've always thought I'd love to live there.

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? Oh god, not again

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night? That thought would not be for public consumption, ya know?

14. Favorite style of underwear? Why would you want to know? But meh, basic cotton bikinis. I'm not big on sexy underwear. Comfort before style, especially if it's that close to your coochie. Showing my age here, eh?

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite sex? I don't much care, so long as they're clean. None is good too.

16. What errand/chore do you despise? Going to the supermarket, with cooking also way up there. That's why I have Mr. Jazz.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer? I have no clue. Maybe in a library

18. Get up early or sleep in? Sleep in. Late. Later. Latest.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character? Comic strip: The late great Opus in Bloom County (I tried to name one of my cats after Opus, but she already had a name and she never took to it and remained Mittens - Mittens!! - to the end of her days). Animated: Lisa Simpson - and the squirrel in Ice Age, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some... Oh yeah, the cheesy bachelor on Family Guy, I can't for the life of me remember his name right now.

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy? Eat, catch a movie, have a drink, talk...

22. When did you first start feeling old? When I hit 30, then I got the hell over it, cause it would've meant feeling old for a very long time.

24. Your favorite lunch meat? I don't really eat lunch meats, and I'm not a fan of any of them.

25. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart? I dunno, a parking spot?

26. Ocean or lake? Ocean of course, always and forever. But any water will do in a pinch.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? Not marriage as such. I know people who aren't legally married and have the committment of a marriage. I consider them married. I think the whole wedding thing is pretty much outdated and a waste of money though. Save the $20,000 and go on a kick ass vacation instead. At least you get something more out of it than watching Aunt Myrtle get drunk and pinch the best man's ass. Again.

28. How many people do you stalk on Facebook? What's facebook?

29. Favorite guilty pleasure? I'm Ian's clone on this one: spending too much on books and magazines. Mea culpa.

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about? Hmm.. I don't have any particular movie that's cringe worthy, though I did see Apocalypse Now about 10 times. I do love old movies though, and no, I'm not speaking movies from the 70s, I'm old enough that old movies are from the 30s to the 50s. I love the 40s screwball comedies.

31. What's your drink? Alcoholic: Mr. Jazz's evil margarita. Non-alcoholic: Tea

32. Cowboys or Indians? What am I supposed to do with them? That might change my choice.

33. Cops or Robbers? Cops. Preferably cops with pecs and a six pack. I'm not much for the ones with beer bellies. Come to think about it robbers with six packs are good to. This is not what this question was about, eh?

34. Who from high school would you like to run into? No one. Not ever. And if I did I wouldn't recognize them anyway. Or want to. High school was hell, high schoolers were hellish. 'Nuff said.

35. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now? 98.5FM You figure it out.

36. Norm or Cliff? Meh... Norm? Wait, was he the mailman or the fat guy? How about the yokel barman from the boonies whatever his name was. Geez this questionaire is getting long.

37. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? Simpsons of course.

38. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back? Not getting out of it sooner. It was a stupid relationship to be in. Not good at all for me.

39. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work? Love her and unfortunately she's going to retire soon, and I'll have to kill myself. My days here are numbered.

40. If you could get away with it, whom would you kill? I'd have to give that some thought. I mean, am I allowed to kill only one or however many I want to? Today, probably yesterday's idiot who decided that he'd been stopped long enough seeing as the guy in front of him had stopped and almost rammed into the passenger side of our car (that would be me!) and then actually accelerated towards us when we honked our horn at him. Wanker deserves to die a slow and painful death.

41. What famous person(s) would you like to have dinner with? I'm not much of a famous people person. But I would like to have dinner with any number of bloggers whose blogs I stalk.

42. What famous person would you like to sleep with? Sleep sleep or sex sleep?

43. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose? You mean bashing people over the head? No.

44. Last book you read for real? As Ian said: As opposed to "for false"? Right now I'm reading: Middlesex (Jeffrey Eugenides), Olympos (Dan Simmons - I'd be done but I forgot it at JazzSis's place when I went to see he last time), and The Girls (I don't remember by whom and I can' t find it in Amazon) which I'm getting tired of. It's about lesbians in show business starting in the early 20th century and was interesting until it started becoming a Garbo slept with X who slept with Y who slept with.... now it's just gossip and mightily annoying.

45. Do you have a teddy bear? Both a teddy bear and a baby doll I've had for over 40 years. But I no longer sleep with them.

46. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth? What? As in while standing on my head, while sitting on the toilet or as in a place place? I dunno, while trekking in Nepal? But that's not strange, you still gotta brush...

47. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go? Hmm. I've been several places, once driving we went through a place with huge white sand dunes, I'd like to go there again (I think it's in CA), I'd like to drive the PCH again. Oh, I know... Where the Redwoods are, near San Francisco. I've seen Yosemite's redwoods, so I'd like to see those to.

48. Do you go to church? Not if I can help it. Weddings and funerals.

49. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Well since I don't have a career, why not that? 'Cause I want to keep Mr. Jazz. He cooks. And plays barman. And tolerates me with all good cheer.

50. Just how OLD are you? 45, so old enough that I should know better than to answer these things despite bloggers block.


Two great posts to share today:

From The Collective over at Evil Spock's. This one had me laughing out loud.

And from Snay, the pics in that article are amazing.


Ian Lidster said...

I love your droll wit, Jazz,which is why I love to drop by. Great responses to that old writer's-block exercise.

Big Brother said...

Hey lil sister, a nun???? Now I know much more that I really needed or wanted to know... old lady cotton underwear? I also remember the baby doll mum must have remade the body at least 5 times cuz you dragged it everywhere you went.

Dan said...

I'd like to be wondering whether I actually feel like be answering 50 questions about myself

And I'm asking myself if I want to read them.

Just teasing! :)

Voyager said...

Do some people actually remember their first grade teacher's name? Other than second graders?

Too bad you didn't become a nun. I'd love to read a nun blog.

Jazz said...

Ian - Flattery will get you everywhere. Damn boy, I think I'm in love with you. *swoon*

BB - Yes, a nun. Long time ago, didn't last, maybe three and a half weeks. And no, not old lady cotton underwear. Cotton bikinis. Cause polyester? Hot, damp... ewwwwwwwwwwwww.

Dan - :-p

Voyager - If I had become a nun, I'm sure I would have managed to bring the whole edifice of the catholic church tumbling down. Or they would have excommunicated me. Probably the latter.

Evil Spock said...

The Collective will be flattered when Evil Spock tells them of your, er, um, flattery.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Isn't that cat gorgeous?!

Dorky Dad said...

Whoa! No. 13! What's the answer to No. 13?

Sorry. I can't help my curiosity. I get it from my cats.

geewits said...

I had a great aunt Myrtle and can't even imagine her getting drunk and pinching a guy but it was fun trying!

I do remember all of my elementary school teachers' names, it's the high school ones I can't remember (it was the 70's!).

Jazz said...

Evil S - I'm flattered the collective is flattered. Everyone is flattered all to bits.

Snay - Oh yeah, I am LOVING that cat.

DD - They say curiosity killed the cat...

Geewits - I can't imagine naming a baby girl Myrtle.

Mike M said...

I enjoyed all 50 of them. I will be back to this blog for sure.

Jill said...

The weird guy on Family Guy is Quagmire. Giggity giggity.