Thursday, December 04, 2008

Life on the Bus

I've had nothing worthwhile to say over the past week or so. Rather than put up one of those long whiney "I have nothing to say" posts, I figured I should just shut the hell up.

Works for me.

Moving on...

This morning, because of unforeseen circumstances (a non-working spouse) I took the bus to work. The red demon stays home if there aren't two of us commuting.


It had been a while. I'm not a fan of public transport, though I use it most every evening. It gets me where I want to go, 60% of the time with more or less minimum fuss*.


Morning bus use is a special kind of hell.

Morning bus use when it's raining buckets is a very special kind of hell. At least in the evenings, you have getting home to look forward to.

Used to be, when I always took the bus in the morning. I could catch the 7:20 and have a 50-50 chance of being seated. Then it was the 7:10. Now, at 6:55** it's hell. Jam-f-ing packed. Toothpicks in a box packed. No bubble wrap to make things easier packed.

And then, just to top it off nicely, you have:

  • The fat nasty lady who never stops bitching because someone is sorta dripping on her. - It's raining lady, a rain of Noah's arc proportions. You're sitting down, we're standing over you, we drip. Get over it.
  • The guy who wields his backpack like a deadly weapon. - Dude! Take the fucking thing OFF! or at least hang it off the front of you where you can see the damage you wreak.
  • The other guy who hasn't washed in a month. Nice.
  • The kid with her iPod playing so loud you can hear it clearly 10 feet away. She'll be deaf by the time she's 20. Serves her right.
I have acquired new respect for people who face this twice daily and don't go around wielding machetes and AK-47s.

I have also developed an new and loving devotion to my little Red Demon. I love me my Matrix.

And so, a new day begins. (Crap, that sounds like a Celine Dion song, see what the bus does to me?)

* Lucky y'all, I'll spare you a list of the moronity that is the Montreal public transit system.

** You have to understand. I'm not a morning person. But when I have to take the bus, I'd actually rather be up at the crack of dawn than play the sardine game in the bus.



VioletSky said...

I remember those horrid, horrid days of taking the TTC. The crush of humanity (?) at Yonge and Bloor trying to change trains or the people who refused to budge on the long escalator ride at Spadina. The buses rushing past you because they were full long before they reached your stop. The driver who shuts the door in your face after you running down the street, yelling, then ignores your pounding on the side of his vehicle. The articulated streetcars where everyone feels they must be standing at the front when you know, because you saw through the windows, that there are actually several seats empty way in the back and you have a 40 minute ride ahead of you.

Don't miss it at all.
Except I used to get an awful lot of reading done. That I miss.

Ian Lidster said...

As far as I know machetes are only permitted on long distance Greyhounds.

XUP said...

Thank you for not posting an "I have nothing to say" post. It's weird when people do that.But I had been wondering where you've been. And, yes, buses in the rain is the very worst thing right after unnecessary root canal

Big Brother said...

The only thing worse than riding in an STM bus is riding in a school bus. I get to do that every so often when we go out with the students and I swear to god that the axles are welded directly to the chassis.

Anonymous said...

The worst is the guy on the bus with the loose short and nothing underneath. No underwear I mean, and what is underneath I am not interested in seeing.

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

*Guy in next seat vomiting.
*Old German man crying on my shoulder, unburdening his WWII guilt.
*Drunk opera singer.

I rode the city bus for ten years, and as you can see above, it was always a strange ride. I applaud you, for taking a bus at such an ungodly hour of the morning. :)

geewits said...

Next time, take the car.

Jazz said...

Violetsky - There was that. I get a helluva lot less reading done since I only take the bus once a day. The trade off is more sleep though, so I'm ok with that.

Ian - See, that's why I love you, the black humour.

XUP - Yeah, an unnecessary root canal would be pretty nasty.

BB - Oh yeah, gotta hate those yellow monsters.

Citzen - EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Thank you for putting that image into my head so early in the morning.

Kimber - I took the bus for a long time and never ever saw a drunk opera singer. A vomiter yes, but never a drunk opera singer.

Geewits - I just might... if it's raining.

PC said...

Yeah the bus is unpleasant. At least you made it out sane, right?

raino said...

gosh. i do remember those days well. the worst one for me was the man on the 6:15 bus in the morning that used to hack so loud you would think he was a cat bringing up an effing hair ball! it was sickening! in fact one rider had to start taking an earlier bus in because she got pregnant and had a real queezy stomache in the morning and the sounds of this fella make her want to vomit. i feel for ya

Hagelrat said...

i'm not promising the machete will never come out. I hate morning buses.

Jocelyn said...

I love public transport, for ever f***ing reason you list. I love witnessing life's rich pageant and realizing I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE ARSEHOLES.

It's all about assuring myself I have relative worth.