Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It's obviously still award season

I have been remiss in my posting duties*. Even more so because Ian was nice enough to bestow upon me a couple of awards. Well, one for real and the other because:

"... if you were selected for the first award, please feel free to take this one as well."

Is he arriving at the point of award burnout??

And, in doing this post, do I feel a touch of Suldog-ness washing over me?

Ok, so this first one is called, for some obscure reason I can't begin to fathom, the Premio Dardos award.

Which means Prize Darts for all you non Spanish speakers out there. No, unfortunately I'm not much of a Spanish speaker myself, I copied that from Ian's blog... Da rools are the same as ever, link to the one who gave it to you and give it to approximately 152,265 others. Exponentially speaking, I was probably the last person in the blogosphere to get it. Does that mean I don't have to pass it on now? Does it die here? But we'll get back to passing on (as in awards of course, not - as in the immortal words of John Cleese in the Dead Parrot sketch - It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot - dead).

Premio Dardos. Prize Darts. I'm still stuck on the prize darts. What the fuck are prize darts? D'you get 'em for skewering other people? Cuz, yeah, I can skewer with the best of them. But really, I haven't the faintest idea what all that's about. Prize darts? Is that a quintessentially Hispanic thing? Were I Hispanic would I have the slightest idea what the hell's with the prize darts? I venture to think not. This prize is the concoction of a twisted mind.

And what do darts have to do with this picture? As far as I can see it's an antique typewriter with stylized writing. I think. Or something.

But. Darts! What's with the damn darts??? Why the darts? Why??? There is no answer I fear. Who me? Obsessed with the damn darts? Whatever makes you think that.

Ian, when he did this, was pressed for time. He listed his 156,875 (or so) names and was done with it. Me? I'm just lazy, so I'm not going to link to anyone either. I think your blogs are all prize darts (!!!) or I wouldn't be reading them. Besides, everyone probably already has the damned thing.

Now the next one is the "First thing in the morning I need my coffee and to read your blog" award. Long name. I already saw this picture somewhere but the caption was different. Something along the lines of "I'm up, what the fuck else do you want?" I think I actually posted it here once. After a long night. Probably.

Problem with this one is twofold: a) I don't have time to read blogs in the morning when I get up because I already cut it close by getting up about 20 minutes before I have to leave. Get up, shower, wash hair, dry hair, dress and slap on a bit of makeup, brush teeth. All in 20 minutes. And I look relatively human at the end of it. I rock people, indeed I do. Blogs aren't even on my radar. I couldn't get my computer running at that hour, much less read blogs; and 2) I don't drink coffee. Ha!

So as with the other one, you want it? It's yours. I'm an equal opportunity award peddler. Yes I am.

* Well, duties might be the wrong word, since when this becomes a duty I'll be out of here so quick y'alls heads will spin. I have enough duties without heaping more on myself.


Anonymous said...

One of the things I love most about you is your gracious acceptance of awards and praise for your work.

Jazz said...

XUP - On bended knees I thank thee for loving me anyway. And for the record, this is all pure Suldogishness. It's his fault. Yep.

Rachel said...

This post will make thàt suldog proud! Very very good rant, my dear! LOL I giggled my whole way through!

Anonymous said...

If you are going to refuse to tag,you might as well do it with style. I like that.

Jocelyn said...

I adore that you get up and fly out of the house. We get our kids up 20 mins before their bus comes; it's perfect--minimizing whining time in our presence.

endangered coffee said...

no blogs in the morning I can understand. but no coffee ... the horror.

Voyager said...

You gave me an award!!!! I am touched, humbled, and so honoured. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents, my eighth grade English teacher, my mechanic, my darling husband,....Huh? What? Jazz gave it to everyone? Oh.

choochoo said...

Equal opportunity... yeah, you and idol, it would seem :D

Jazz said...

Rachel - What is it they say? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? Or something. It's been a hellish week. That's my excuse.

Citizen - If I drank coffee and read blogs first thin, yours would be my go to.

Jocelyn - thing is, if I give myself any more time I'll end up snoozing on the table or something.

EC - I replace the coffee with real strong tea. Welcome to my blog, I hope you viait again.

V - I hereby bestow upon you, and you alone the "My god she survived Yellowknife" award. Unfortunately, I'm useless with photoshop, so it shall remain illustrationless.

Chooch - shaddap! :-p

Ian Lidster said...

I lke your style and attitude, but you already knew that and knew that is why I awarded you.

ticknart said...

You know, if you change "duty" to "doodie" in the footnote, it still makes sense, and becomes funnier.

geewits said...

Uhm, was the parrot killed by a dart? It is dead right? Is the parrot dead?

Suldog said...

You showed admirable restraint, actually. And, I learned something. Prize Darts. Who knew? Certainly not me.

By the way, you'll be pleased to know (or, horrified, depending upon how much you like the song) that I've taken something you said to heart. Remember that little bit of song I posted a couple of weeks back, for which I asked suggestions and whatnot? You said it sounded like tooling down the highway or something similar? I re-titled it and gave it sound effects that mesh with your suggestion. Tomorrow, I'll give you credit for such over at my place. Today, it's part one of what will tomorrow be part two, and... This is mighty confusing, huh? Read my stuff today, go where it directs you, then come back tomorrow for your credit (or undying shame, as the case may be.)

Love and kisses!

Suldog said...

Oh, geez, I'm such a poop. I just now realized that it was Green Jello who gave me that idea, not you. Well, you're both green - you being a frog and all - so it was an honest mistake. You can now rest safely secure in the knowledge that I won't be blaming you for a damned thing tomorrow.

Jazz said...

Ian - I know I can always count on you for a award now and then, and thus, an easy post.

Ticknart - And I know i can always count on you to pick up things like that! LOL

Geewits - the parrot is indeed no longer of this world. I dunno about the dart though!

Suldog - I am deeply honoured... I think. I'll check it out.

Jazz said...

Suldog - this being said, I can't for the life of me remember that comment. I have a bad case of meno-brain. If you say I said that, I believe you - you'll have to link to that particular post...

Jazz said...

Sully - well hell, I just saw your second comment. Nice to know I'm not as dumb as I thought I was! YAY me!

david mcmahon said...

I don't drink coffee either. Maybe we should get Suldog to show us how it's done!

Suldog said...

If you're counting on me to show you how anything's done, it's not going to get done. That should be obvious by now.