Thursday, October 01, 2009

In the news...

.
Winner of the stupid headline prize for today:


"Typhoon's devastation spares no one - not even children"

Um... Children should miraculously start floating in the air when disaster strikes? Who the hell wrote that line?


Winner of the D'oh!!!* prize of the day:

Stephen Harper, our "beloved" PM, for saying that Canada has no history of colonialism**.

First nation leaders are understandably rather pissed off at the comment.


And in the What-The-Fuck-Is-Wrong-With-These-People file...

One of our offices has no internet today. Bell Canada cut off their service because they weren't paying their bills, which stopped coming a couple of months ago.

Our question: Why did they stop coming?

Bell's answer: Because we weren't notified about your move..

For the record, the office moved 2 years ago, and they managed to send the bills for both phone and internet service for all that time. To the new address...

???

* aka the open-mouth-insert-foot prize
** no doubt he will argue that he meant that Canadians per se didn't colonize Canada. It's the brits' and frogs' fault. Won't fly you moron.

.

11 comments:

Guillaume said...

Harper said a few stupid things these days. He is not too keen on history, by his own admission: he said in an interview, regarding what he would leave to posterity as a politician, that the judgment of God mattered more to him than the judgment of historians. It is as if this guy wants to be perceived as a Christian integrist.

Hagelrat said...

hahahha. This is why we need sharp sticks, so we can jab the stupid people with big mouths.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Thank goodness stupidity is sometimes funny.

Great post Jazz.

mrwriteon said...

I love it when you do this stuff. You do it so well.

Yes, there's Harper. But then there's Iggy. Sigh.

Stop the country, I want to get off.

geewits said...

And doesn't "no one" mean just that? That's like saying, "Free prizes for everyone that reads this blog - even the ugly people." or "All beans give me gas, even pinto beans." It's ridiculous.

Jazz said...

Guillaume - it's scary that when the leader of a country relies on God.

Hagelrat - you've been talking to Choochoo too much.

Bonnie - that's its only redeeming quality

Ian - where's our Obama? Harper the fundy christian, Iggy with all the charisma and ideas of a wet mop... it's scary.

Geewits - Ah well, at least it's marginally funny...

XUP said...

Bell Canada is a constant source of hilarity to me. Ever since I dumped them a couple of years ago they've been hounding me with cute cards, letters, phone calls and even little gifts in a pathetic attempt to woo me back. The phone calls are the best because their phone call center people don't seem to know why they're calling me. Here's a recent conversation:
~ our records show that you no longer have telephone service with Bell Canada
~ that's right
~do you currently have any telephone service?
~ you just called me didn't you?
~ are you with a service provider other than Bell Canada?
~ yes
~ would you consider using Bell Canada as your service provider
~ no
~ is it the money? because we have some really good deals
~ no, it's everything
~oh
~ so do you have internet service with Bell Canada?
~ I have to go now
CLICK

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Jazz: Since you are sometimes over the top, I have left you an award, so named. You can pick it up on my blog. :)

Jazz said...

I'm on my way Bonnie!

Jocelyn said...

That colonialism comment ties right into the whole immigration debate: at what point do you get to become the "we" who tries to stem back a tide of "them"? And who the eff makes that decision? It's so random.

secret agent woman said...

Good catch on the headline. I think they should have said, "spares no one, especially children - equally nonsensical, but with an added heart tug.