Thursday, December 17, 2009

Bah, Humbug! (Redux)


I'm doing it too - with slight edits. Seems everyone is recycling Christmas posts. It's the perfect time for regifting after all - especially those posts that were written before the advent of readers in this blog:

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"

Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history!

Now, I ask you, is this crap or what?

They hated him because of his difference, because of his red nose. Because he was a serious drinker, and a nasty drunk perhaps? Unless he had roseacea - they really should be more specific...

Point is Rudy was an outcast. And one night, because of  the fog, he's shown favour by the fat man in red and suddenly all the other reindeer love him? I think not.

Au contraire. It would annoy the hell out of the others that he of all reindeer has been picked as the leader. The outcast as boss? Um, don't think so. Or at any rate they wouldn't be shouting out for glee. Grumbling and bitching? Definitely

And a red nose does nothing in the fog. If it were yellow, it could help, but red? Not so much, so what's up with that?.

You might point out that I'm anthropomorphizing these animals, but hey, I didn't start it - have you ever seen a reindeer shout out with glee? I rest my case.

Thus I feel safe in assuming they act like humans all the time - which is rather fucked up in and of itself, but that's a whole different ballgame (or reindeer game as the case may be).


ticknart said...

The song is about how easy it is to change your opinion of a freak once you find out the thing that makes the person a freak is useful.

Remember, no one sings the second part of the song where next year there is no fog and when Rudolph shows up to lead the sleigh Santa mock him for ever thinking he was important.

Rachel said...

Hear! Hear!

As an outcasted child I always knew the bit about all the other reindeer seeing the error of their ways and suddenly liking Rudy was utter nonsense. More likely they piled up on him when Santa wasn't looking and beat the crap outta him.

Nonetheless, I was an outcast and did like the story and the fantasy.

Bandobras said...

"Grumbling And Bitching"
You betcha, reindeer with antlers at Christmastime are females.
Besides the general bitchiness this suggests just imagine you have to tote a fat idiot around all night and make it all over the world in one go.
Sure they'd shout with glee that the new girl gets top billing.

geewits said...

Well it could be that the other reindeer were hourly employees and not salaried. So if the whole shebang had been canceled because of fog, they would not have gotten paid that year. In that case they would shout out with glee. Yes, that's probably what happened.

XUP said...

The whole thing is an allegory depicting the ugliness of racial discrimination. People have done master's theses to prove this so I have to believe it

Gwen Buchanan said...

Hahaha... Gotta love that brown nose...

my dear, you are funny!!!

GooseBreeder said...

And hey he did 'go down in history"!!!!

Jazz said...

Tick - Damn, you're even more of a cynic than I am!

Rachel - Poor thing. Someone shoulda beat the crap outta them for you.

Bandobras - Girls? Nope. Males bitch and kvetch too. At least as much as we do...

Geewits - Only you could come up with such an explanation. That's only one of the reasons I love you.

XUP - Well, if Master's theses were written on it, what can I say?

Gwen - I love that comic, laughed out loud when I found it.

Goose - he did indeed. Welcome to my blog.

Jocelyn said...

All I really needed for Christmas was the sentence, "Now I ask you, is this crap or what?"

I didn't even have to unwrap it!

Jazz said...

Joce - Proof that all christmas wishes come through me.

secret agent woman said...

In the tv version, even Sanata says it's a pity he has that terrible nose. I think Santa and all the reindeer were jerks.

mrwriteon said...

The question remains: What did Santa do on all those other foggy Christmas Eves before the mutant Rudolph came along? Obviously the regular old reindeer worked out fine then. That's our problem, we're always seeking the new and glitzy while the regular old style worked fine.

Jeaux said...

Yes, the reindeer caucus' flip-flop is craven, but not surprising. Too bad they return to congress once Christmas break is over.

choochoo said...

if his nose was so shiny, how did he ever get any sleep? Cant have been a very reliable reindeer...

Pouty Lips said...

Here is how it really went down: Rudolph the red-nosed wino was never allowed to play in any reindeer games so he got drunk and died in an alley.

alison said...

EXACTLY! He was an outcast until his disability made him useful. Santa and the reindeer are a bunch of users.

King of New York Hacks said...

OK ...this is long overdue...

There..that felt great.
Now, a Merry Christmas to ya ! LOL

lime said...

rudolph the codependent reindeer was so excited to be given the honor. he coulda let santa's sleigh crash and then started his own business.

Kate said...

They are a bunch of users - they love him after he gets a famous friend thats just mean.

Kate xx

Maddy said...

Do I note a hint of cynicism at this gleeful time of the year?

Verily I am shocked.

There again , as we were Christmas Caroling around the dinner table last night, my youngest dumped a new one on me - hope you know the tune:-

Joy to the world, Barney is dead.
We bar be qued his head.
And what about his bo o dy?
We flushed it down the po o tee
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature, sing,
And heaven, and heaven and nature sing.

I was lost for words at the time - I didn't know he could sing.

Happy Holidays to you and yours from me and mine.

e said...

"Is this crap or what?" Whatever happened to the optimism I once felt???

(Hardly a rhetorical question in these times...)

Happy Holidays, Jazz