Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Literary musings

I have a problem with books. They cause me no end of frustration. A couple of months ago, I got rid of eight boxes of books, you know, those big boxes paper comes in for offices? You can stuff a good number of books in one of those.

Eight boxes. Yep. ‘Cause the Jazzer? She needed space on her shelves – which cover two walls of the front room, floor to ceiling. Lots of shelf space. Lots of full shelf space. So I emptied eight boxes worth. And I gotta tell you, if there is a hell, for me it will be spending all eternity getting rid of some of my books. In sub-zero temperatures. Naked.

The shelves? They’re overflowing again. Hence the frustration. I’m sure my books are fornicating and making baby books in the deep dark of night. (History + novel = historical novel) Or something. ‘Cause me? I dunno where they’re coming from. They mutliply like some evil mutant virus that will take over the world. Or at any rate my living space.

It has gotten to the point where I’ve decided to set them free. Soon as I finish one that I don’t feel compelled to keep, I leave it somewhere for someone else to pick up. Let them take over someone else's space for a change...

I left one at a food fair last week and the next day I saw someone in that same food fair reading it. So maybe this is working. Maybe I’ll be able to get rid of those spawns of literary fornication soon after they arrive. I mean, what else can I do, I can’t really go to the lake and drown them like kittens. I just don’t have the heart. Despite their evil mutant status.



Today is my last day before a well deserved vacation. Well I think so anyway; others might beg to differ but I don’t much care about that. Going out west for a week to see family in Seattle and Montana. I can’t wait!

Hopefully no books will smuggle themselves into my baggage on the way back.

8 comments:

foxtrot said...

Have a great vacation Jazz... and big hugs to both of you. I'll look forward to reading some funny stories on your blog :)

About your books... next time, leave a pile for me will ya? ;)

Jazz said...

But then they'll start making baby mutant books in your home, plotting to take it over!

foxtrot said...

LOL now that would be a great thing to happen, Jazz, it would be a great thing to happen... ;)

choochoo said...

I can never throw out books. I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't know why. I have a weird relationship to my books...

Jocelyn said...

Ah, I've discovered my love of Jazz (thanks for visiting my blog...your and choochoo's comments led me to your own very fun writings) today. The whole book thing used to plague me, too, until we went through a financial dry period for a couple of years, and I couldn't *buy* books anymore...that broke the habit. I'm all library, all of the time now, except with books for my kids (the silent addiction). Hey, libraries love book donations--that could be your solution.

Anonymous said...

*rocks foetally in corner over the loss of so many books*

;)

Vxo

Hageltoast said...

love it. And have the same problem.

Big Brother said...

Hey it must run in the family. Books are man's greatest invention. Where else could you find something that gives you hours of enjoyment, can be stuffed in a backpack miles from civilisation (we're talking serious mountain trekking here, not day hikes), doesn't consume batteries (so it doesn't blink out at the wrong moment) and in an emergency can be used as toilet paper ;o)
As for the millions of books that pile up in every corner of the house, well that's what libraries are for... so you can make huge donations of books, making you feel really good about being such an outstanding person. Also good for the old karma so you don't come back in some version of karmic hell were all there is talk show television to keep you occupied.
Have a nice vacation, we'll have to get together some weekend when you get back. :o)