Friday, February 23, 2007

So, would you rather*

1. Be famous now and forgotten after you die or forgotten now and famous after you die, forever? Why?

I’m not much for fame. I don’t much like the thought of being well known or recognized. When I look at all the harassment famous people deal with it just doesn’t seem worth it to me. Who wants to be photographed eating a Big Mac? So, after I die I suppose. However, I think I could deal with the fame thing if it was cushioned in oodles (and oodles) of money. 'Cause like my mom says, money might not by happiness, but is makes misery a helluva lot more comfortable.

2. Give blood or read Hamlet? Why?

To my everlasting shame, I have never given blood. I don’t really know why. It’s not the needles, it’s not the concept, it’s pure laziness, nothing more. And I’ve read Hamlet more than once. How about I give blood while reading Hamlet? That way I kill two birds with one stone. Not that I'm into killing birds. As we will see in subsequent questions, birds are not my preferred thing to kill.

And does this question imply that reading Hamlet is a huge chore?

3. Be extravagantly rich, but hated by others or be well loved and admired, but dirt poor? Why?

Ok, this one sucks. How about lower middle class? It would drive me nuts to have everyone hate me, though I suppose I could pay people to be my friends if I were that rich. That’s an idea! But then, I’m smart enough to know they wouldn’t like me… But I don’t wanna be dirt poor!!! How’m I gonna pay the bills?!? Ok, then, poor and loved. Maybe I could marry someone marginally richer. Or get a sugar daddy. But would that make people love and admire me less? The dilemma, oh God, the dilemma!

4. Be imprisoned for the rest of your life or kill someone? Why?

Kill someone. No contest. I know what a life sentence feels like, I work in an office. I get to decide who to kill though. So there. I’m answering these questions, I get to decide. Yeah, kill people. I wanna be Jack Bauer, I wanna kick 'em around some before I kill them. OK?

5. Fight Mike Tyson or talk like him? Why?

Whoa! Are you telling me I could never speak a coherent sentence again? Well between that and being beaten to death I guess I’ll have to do the speech thing. As long as I could write a coherent sentence. If I couldn't being beaten to death seems like a reasonable alternative.

As an aside, did you know that Mike Tyson is a pigeon aficionado? I’m not sure whether his thing is racing pigeons or purebred fancy pigeons**, but somehow, his love for birds makes him seem a bit more, well, human... ish. Marginally. Very marginally.

Bonus (as in optional): Whom would you kill if you were guaranteed to get away with it?

Guaranteed? Does it have to be just one? I’d be tempted to say Dubbya, but making him a martyr might not be the best idea. There are a few people I could think of, but honestly, I don’t have the energy to hate people enough to want to kill them. The office village idiot might be a candidate though.

Have a good weekend all!

* Appropriate thanks must be heaped upon Ian, who with this meme has ended today's Quest for a Friday blog. I won't tag anyone, but please feel free to do it. It'd be interesting to see who's a nice person and who is as shallow as me. LOL

** And I just read a book on pigeons, and they are really amazing birds. And the winged rat thing? Nope. They carry no more disease than any other bird plus they are less susceptible to West Nile virus than most other birds. And, for the record, there are no documented cases of pigeons passing on nasty illnesses to humans. Just doing my bit to rehabilitate the pigeons. 'Cause me and birds? The Jazzer lurrrves 'em. Oh, and the book? Pigeons: The Fascinating Saga of the Worlds Most Revered and Reviled Bird, by Andew D. Blechman. OK, I'll shut up now, this is becoming a tad too ranty. I might just have to go out and kill you all.


Evil Spock said...

Nice little peek into your life. Haven't decided if restraining orders are needed or not. Oh, and I'd rather give blood.

Big Brother said...

If you fought Mike Tyson you probably would talk like him anyway cuz you' be brain damaged or brain dead... Hey you'd probably even look like him. ;o)

Jazz said...

Evil Spock - You think Shakespeare is bad? Try Aristophanes... It's all relative.

BB - Naw, I'd never look like him, I'm just too damn puuuuurty, 'n all.

Dan said...

We should all get a restraining order against Evil Spock! :)

tkkerouac said...

Good answers!

somewhere joe said...

Can Hamlet get a restraining order on Polonius?

I'd like to be rich, famous, and loved. Is that so wrong?

choochoo said...

I totally would rather kill someone than get locked up for the rest of my life, too. Or maybe have you kill them for me. But if you _do_ kill someone, you _do_ get locked up. It's like Sophie's choice. Only completely different.

Jazz said...

Dan - A restraining order against Evil Spock? You get it, I wouldn't want to risk his vulcan wrath...

Joe - Tsk tsk now, you know you can't have it all! Or you would if you were a woman. They keep telling us that...

Choo - They wouldn't dare lock you up since you're the future mistress of the universe known and unknown and stuff...