Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Apparently, Nice Matters


Big Brother, bless his twisted soul, gave me an award. The "Nice Matters" award. Who thinks these things up? It seems at least one award per week is wandering around the internet.
Now, I’ve been accused of many things in my life, but nice was rarely one of them. ChooChoo surmised that my brother chose me because I know where he lives and can fuck with his mind if I so choose. In other words, he did it to placate me.

Or maybe he really believes I’m a nice(ish) person.

It’s not like he ever told me that during the numerous “torture the little sister or at best simply screw with her mind” sessions of our youth. I’m sure he’d say it was all out of concern to prepare me for the big bad world. And maybe he actually believed it. How fucked is that?

Or maybe he really believes that I’m a nice(ish) person.

Nope, there has to be something behind it, there has to be another reason he’s doing this to me.

Wait!!! My friends seem to think I’m nice(ish). Oh, not in so many words, but if they thought I was a total prick(ette?) they wouldn’t hang around with me… Unless they tolerate me because of Mr. Jazz. Yeah, that’s probably it. Whew!

I know. BB is reprising the “fuck with the little sister’s head” sessions from way back. He has actually devised an new and, I must admit, brilliant way to torture me. Hats off to him. I bow down before your superior talent at screwing with my head, BB! 'Cause apparently "Nice Matters" and all that shit.

So now, on to business. Apparently I must pass this on to five other bloggers. Since it seems BB and I have pretty much the same list of favourites, I can only be thankful we don’t have to pass it on to 20 or so people. Then I would’ve been screwed indeed. So, besides those that BB already tagged, I bring you:

Geewits is a really nice woman in Texas who I’ll be meeting within a few weeks. At which point I'll be able to confirm the niceness factor. The fact that she neglected a cough to the point of developing pneumonia last week does not make her any less nice. Simply extremely negligent of herself. Plus she just stopped smoking. You go girl!!! You can do this.

Josie is a Vancouver mega blogger (at least once a day) who seems to be the epitome of nice. She is the mother of nice. She is the nice to end all other nice. Oh, and did I say she seems really nice? A little too quick to call herself and her life boring, but that’s about as bad as it gets. I'm sure she has an totally evil dark side and spends her evenings scaring little children, but she keeps it very well hidden. So. Nice.

And of course Constant Whiner another Texan who I unfortunately won't be meeting due to lack of time in Texas. Now, I’m not sure how nice she is, but she’s nice enough to make me laugh every time she blogs, which is not nearly enough in my book (hopefully she'll pick up on that hint). Actually she’s sort of evil, but that makes me laugh too so hell, she’s nice in my book. She works in Dilbert’s office and I don’t know how she survives it with her sense of humour intact, which obviously makes her nice, right? It's distinctly possible her evilness is disguised as nice to throw off her co-workers. I wouldn't put it past her.

Evil Spock might not seem to be the best choice for a “nice” award. After all, everyone knows Evil Spock is bent on taking over the world and becoming the ultimate potentate of the universe. However, he’s willing to give away locks of his hair to be sold for a fortune when he has achieved his goal. Now if that’s not altruism (and some sort of a bizarre Samson complex), I don’t know what is. Besides, it’s always good to suck up to the future ultimate potentate of the universe. I mean, he’s most probably delusional, but who knows?

Dorky Dad likes to think he’s a curmudgeon, but he still has a lot of work to do in order to achieve real curmudgeonliness (is that even a word?). He’s a nice Minnesota curmudgeon in training with a lovely wife and an adorable toddler who runs him ragged and could conceivably be the real future ultimate potentate of the universe. The Boy does seem to have it in him…

Now off you all go to spread the niceness... or something.

PS: I must add that that is probably the single most saccharine looking award ever. And I can assure you that this image will not make it up on my sidebar. Nice doesn't need to be pink and fluffy. It can be grey and black and tastefully and minimally designe. Nevertheless, I bestow upon this image the Pinky Sweet Hurl Inducing Award of the year.

12 comments:

Dorky Dad said...

WOOOHOOOOHOOO!!! I'm nice!!! That means quite a bit coming from you -- a great and very kind blogger yourself!!!!

Evil Spock said...

Awww, thanks for bestowing Evil Spock a nice award. Evil Spock will spare you from the culling when in 2012 Evil Spock will steal all of Canada's precious water.

Lhianon said...

i think yer nice-ish

CS said...

Saccharine is the word that sprung to my mind, too, at the sight of the award. But congratualtions nevertheless.

geewits said...

I feel like Elizabeth Taylor when she won the Oscar for Butterfield 8. (They gave her the award because she was so sick, they all felt sorry for her.) Hey, I'm starting to feel better, but I'll take it. And so did Elizabeth Taylor!

Jazz said...

DD - Now all you have to do is post that horrible pic on your own blog...Mwwwahahahahahahahaa

Evil Spock - Whew! It worked!!!

Lhia - I think you're quiet sweetish yourself

CS - Pop by Big Brother's blog, I think he gave it to you - or at any rate, someone did. And now, see comment to DD....

Geewits - You think I gave it to you because I felt sorry for you? Nope, I gave it to you so you'd feel obliged to be nice to me when we meet... :-p

Em said...

Prickette...that's a good word! And yes, the award has nice meaning...but it is a bit ugly.

Josie said...

Jazz, I have been awarded this award twice before now (this is the third time) and each time I try to graciously ignore it, because there is no way I want it on my side bar either. The fact that you feel the same way is wonderful beyond words. And, there are people in my real world who would say, "Josie??? Nice??? It is to laugh!!!" So, thank you, Jazz. I take it as a compliment coming from you.

And I mean this as a compliment to you, I would never have awarded you the "nice" award. Smart - yes. Edgy - definitely. Funnier than hell - oh yes...!

Hey, I know, let's make up a Funnier Than Hell award, and you can be the first recipient!

Cheers,
Josie

Too_Lively said...

Pink and red suits you, Jazz. I think of pink clouds and fluffy red bows, kittens with pink tongues and red valentines everytime I read your blog. Especially when you write those notes to all the jokers who have recently pissed you off. :)

Voyager said...

I'm going to get all serious here. I love the...um...love, so openly shared between you and BigBrother. You are both so, NICE!!
V.

Big Brother said...

Mhahhhaaaa! I've made some changes so you can see them on my blog.

Jazz said...

Em - A bit???

Josie - Yeah, I suspect you have a much "eviler" side than we see on your blog... Don't we all.

Too Lively - SHUDDDDDDDDDDDER

Voyager - Yeah, he's a good brudda. I wouldn't change him for anything.

BB - OK. Wow! I like.