Apparently, Nice Matters

Big Brother, bless his twisted soul, gave me an award. The "Nice Matters" award. Who thinks these things up? It seems at least one award per week is wandering around the internet.
Now, I’ve been accused of many things in my life, but nice was rarely one of them. ChooChoo surmised that my brother chose me because I know where he lives and can fuck with his mind if I so choose. In other words, he did it to placate me.

Or maybe he really believes I’m a nice(ish) person.

It’s not like he ever told me that during the numerous “torture the little sister or at best simply screw with her mind” sessions of our youth. I’m sure he’d say it was all out of concern to prepare me for the big bad world. And maybe he actually believed it. How fucked is that?

Or maybe he really believes that I’m a nice(ish) person.

Nope, there has to be something behind it, there has to be another reason he’s doing this to me.

Wait!!! My friends seem to think I’m nice(ish). Oh, not in so many words, but if they thought I was a total prick(ette?) they wouldn’t hang around with me… Unless they tolerate me because of Mr. Jazz. Yeah, that’s probably it. Whew!

I know. BB is reprising the “fuck with the little sister’s head” sessions from way back. He has actually devised an new and, I must admit, brilliant way to torture me. Hats off to him. I bow down before your superior talent at screwing with my head, BB! 'Cause apparently "Nice Matters" and all that shit.

So now, on to business. Apparently I must pass this on to five other bloggers. Since it seems BB and I have pretty much the same list of favourites, I can only be thankful we don’t have to pass it on to 20 or so people. Then I would’ve been screwed indeed. So, besides those that BB already tagged, I bring you:

Geewits is a really nice woman in Texas who I’ll be meeting within a few weeks. At which point I'll be able to confirm the niceness factor. The fact that she neglected a cough to the point of developing pneumonia last week does not make her any less nice. Simply extremely negligent of herself. Plus she just stopped smoking. You go girl!!! You can do this.

Josie is a Vancouver mega blogger (at least once a day) who seems to be the epitome of nice. She is the mother of nice. She is the nice to end all other nice. Oh, and did I say she seems really nice? A little too quick to call herself and her life boring, but that’s about as bad as it gets. I'm sure she has an totally evil dark side and spends her evenings scaring little children, but she keeps it very well hidden. So. Nice.

And of course Constant Whiner another Texan who I unfortunately won't be meeting due to lack of time in Texas. Now, I’m not sure how nice she is, but she’s nice enough to make me laugh every time she blogs, which is not nearly enough in my book (hopefully she'll pick up on that hint). Actually she’s sort of evil, but that makes me laugh too so hell, she’s nice in my book. She works in Dilbert’s office and I don’t know how she survives it with her sense of humour intact, which obviously makes her nice, right? It's distinctly possible her evilness is disguised as nice to throw off her co-workers. I wouldn't put it past her.

Evil Spock might not seem to be the best choice for a “nice” award. After all, everyone knows Evil Spock is bent on taking over the world and becoming the ultimate potentate of the universe. However, he’s willing to give away locks of his hair to be sold for a fortune when he has achieved his goal. Now if that’s not altruism (and some sort of a bizarre Samson complex), I don’t know what is. Besides, it’s always good to suck up to the future ultimate potentate of the universe. I mean, he’s most probably delusional, but who knows?

Dorky Dad likes to think he’s a curmudgeon, but he still has a lot of work to do in order to achieve real curmudgeonliness (is that even a word?). He’s a nice Minnesota curmudgeon in training with a lovely wife and an adorable toddler who runs him ragged and could conceivably be the real future ultimate potentate of the universe. The Boy does seem to have it in him…

Now off you all go to spread the niceness... or something.

PS: I must add that that is probably the single most saccharine looking award ever. And I can assure you that this image will not make it up on my sidebar. Nice doesn't need to be pink and fluffy. It can be grey and black and tastefully and minimally designe. Nevertheless, I bestow upon this image the Pinky Sweet Hurl Inducing Award of the year.