Naked News**: I can't help but wonder about this website. It's an all news channel where the presenters strip while reading the days news. It's fucking bizarre it is. I can understand wanting to see naked people online - that's what online porn is all about after all, but watching naked people reading the news? Why? Oh and for you cheapskates out there, you have to subscribe - except I think for a daily clip... Notice that all the presenters are female. I wonder why that is?
**Ok, I can't seem to make links work in Blogger this morning because, as we all know Blogger hates me, so you're on your own if you want to find this. It's really quite simple though...
On the radio: A radio commercial that I've heard a million times suddenly penetrated into the deep recesses of my brain. I have an excuse, it's early morning! So. This is a commercial for a mortgage company. In it they're touting how great it is to get a second mortgage "for all those things you really want to do, like renovations, that trip you're dreaming of, that"
Picture a Porsche screeching to a halt on the highway. The Porsche, obviously is my brain (I'm not about to use a Lada am I? Cut me some slack!) And so. Everything screeches to a halt as I try to process this information. Since when has it become a good idea to get a second mortgage to... um... go to Disney World? WTF sort of stupid commercial is that? Who is going to mortgage their house to travel? To renovate I can understand, but to TRAVEL?!?!?! These days? As I wander around the apartment, all in a tizzy over this, Mr. Jazz's reaction?
"Jazz, you'd be surprised."
Ford TV Commercial: Wednesday evening on TV, a commercial for a new Ford "car". I don't remember the name but it's being touted as the next big wonderful thing. The Ford Multi something or other. Operative word here being : BIG. The thing is huge! OK, maybe not so huge as other things they have on the roads, but a helluva lot bigger than all the Matrixes and Yarises I see pootling around Montreal. Have they learned nothing? Have they not yet noticed that people are buying tiny Japanese cars because they consume so much less gas? What the fuck is wrong with these people? And they wonder why they're going under? Jesus, what a bunch of morons!
And on the radio again: Another commercial for the Centres Stop (well Hell, it worked this time and no, I'm not going back to link y'all to the "news" site!). With the use of lasers they promise to rid you of your problems with: Tobacco, your appetite/weight stress, alcohol, the winter blues, the blues (I guess they go from the particular to the general), Insomnia, Compulsive gambling, migraines, soft drugs, fatigue, anxiety, soft drugs and tobacco (I guess they use a different laser for the two combined!), post traumatic stress, loss of libido and, last but not least, hard drugs.***
In short, ze laser, she is good for whatever ails you.
How much do y'all wanna bet that they're doing booming business with all those looking for a quick fix? I repeat: Morons!
***(sorry Ian, it looks like you're out of a job as a substance abuse counselor)
And now to tide you over the weekend...
Overheard in the food fair - A couple sits a table over, the conversation goes something like this (true and surreal conversation):
Cashmere man: I'm just saying we're gonna have to cut back
Wife With expensive blond streaks: What do you mean, cut back?
CM: It's just that I'm losing a lot of money right now
WWEBS: Not that much.
CM: That much. We have to cut back.
WWEBS: It's not like there's much we can cut back on (as an aside: she's one of the ladies who lunch who come slumming to the food fair - perhaps to prove they're like the rest of us - from time to time, usually when she's getting her $300 dye job done at the salon)
CM: We can start by not spending $200 every evening eating out.
WWEBS: ..... (but you can see the panic starting)
CM: Things are really not going well. I'm thinking of postponing the Florida trip.
WWEBS: ..... (panic continues to rise at the idea of OMG living like the rest of the world!) There's really nothing we can cut!!! We just need more money.
CM: Yeah, well, it's not like you're bringing any in!
That was pretty much it until he started talking about a sculpture of a bear he wanted to buy.
Surreal I tell you.
And really, does it make me an evil person to actually be amused (and feel really smug) by the trials and tribulations of the rich who spend $200 an evening on restaurants and now will have to be eating in? It does? OK, I can live with that.