Wednesday, January 06, 2010

And they raised the price of stamps!

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I was incredibly thrilled to have such a great post for you!

You see, over my vacation I was in Korea (I think) and at one point wandering through a backwater market I happened upon The Bay. (The Bay for all you Americans out there is the national department store of Canadia - somewhere between JC Penney and Saks on the department store scale. Macy's perhaps? I have no clue).

I was flabbergasted I was!  I walked in and a lady said to me: Good Afternoon Ms. Jazz (in a delightful Asian accent).

- ?!?!?!  How do you know my name?
- Oh, security out back scans everyone entering with that camera and matches you against our international database and gives me your name through this speaker in my ear. If you're a thief, murderer or terrorist you won't be allowed in.
- !?!?!?!

I couldn't help but think that maybe they should let the US use that technology on planes.
And then I thought, there's a damn good blog post in this.
And then the alarm clock went off.

And I woke up, and when I was awake enough to function - after I had had my shower and was half dressed - it dawned on me that I didn't have a blog post after all. And it pissed me off.

Because the whole "My Resolutions" post, not so much thank you. (Besides, it's the 6th, isn't it too late for a New Years post?)  I'm too old to be into resoultions. Been there, done that, couldn't be bothered to either keep them or feel guilty about it.  If I had kept all my resolutions I would weigh about -95 lbs, have read all of Proust and never said fuck again.

Hasn't happened.

I read somewhere in the past week that we should not actually make resolutions. Resolutions set us up for failure you see. Instead we should have intentions or goals. What the hell is that? Is an intention or a goal less binding than a resolution so that, after three nanoseconds of "I intend to never eat chocolate again" when you don't manage it any more than if you had "resolved not to eat any chocolate" you'll feel less guilty about it?

And I shall spare you all a rant on the stupidity of a society where everything has to be safe and easy and one should never ever be too hard on oneself because damn, one might realise that one isn't all that special, and is basically just a cog in the machine. 

Stupid-ass mollycoddling* I say!  (I'd never say stupid-ass either if I had kept my resolutions).

Stand up! Take responsibility for yourself !  If, like me, you are so lacking in moral fibre, willpower or masochism, that you're unable to keep a resolution, intentions and goals won't work either. Within four days, you'll be back to your comfy habits, intentions all shot to hell. Though maybe intentions are less guilt inducing than resolutions. Or something. If you're into guilt over drunken promises made after taking stock of your life during a New Years party, go ahead, intend and resolve to your hearts content.

Me, not so much.

Who was it that said: Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you die ?  The guy had a point.

Have a good year y'all - and no, the title has nothing to do with anything, someone just now passed that nugget of information on to me.



* Let me edumacate you in these early days of 2010 (won't happen too often I'd say - usually when I don't know something I don't bother to look it up, I ask XUP because she is all knowing she is. Next best thing to god) - The origins of the word mollycolddle:  

To "mollycoddle" someone is, of course, to pamper the person in an extremely attentive and solicitous fashion. As you found, "mollycoddle" is an extreme form of "coddle," which, when it first appeared in English around 1598 meant "to boil gently" (from the Latin "calidum," hot drink). The "gentle" aspect of "coddle" led, around 1815, to its figurative use to mean "nurse," "pamper" or "treat as an invalid," the sense found in "mollycoddle."

Decoding the "molly" in "mollycoddle" brings us to the noun form of "mollycoddle," which means "a pampered weakling" or "a sissy." "Molly" is indeed a "pet form" of the name Mary, often used in slang as a disparaging term for a prostitute or criminal's companion (as in a gangster's "moll"), but also contemptuous slang for a weak or ineffectual man. So to "mollycoddle" someone, in the original sense of the term, is to treat him or her in the delicate fashion a "molly" must be "coddled." "Mollycoddle" first appeared in English as a noun around 1833 and the verb form was in use by 1870.

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16 comments:

mrwriteon said...

I just wrote a big long response to this, but Wordpress screwed me around, so I am resolving to not attempt to repeat it.

Suffice it to say my wish is that you and Mr. J have a wondrous 2010 with lots of travels. Maybe even to Korea.

geewits said...

You have funky dreams like me. I've never been into resolutions although starting at about the age of 19 I started making up stupid ones like "This year I resolve to never play electric guitar in the shower." Maybe I didn't want to set myself up for failure? I don't know but I remember I was easily able to keep that resolution.

Bandobras said...

" I ask XUP because she is all knowing she is. Next best thing to god"

I sur hope that in this reference when you say "next best thing to god" you are establishing her as one step better than god.
If not, I would cower in fear of the inevitable smiting you are in line for.

VioletSky said...

you mean I just mailed eight postcards with out of date stamps??? and I have a drawerful of said out of date stamps?? damn.

secret agent woman said...

Or stamps go up approximately every 2-3 weeks.

Goals/intentions/resolutions - semantics.

pinklea said...

You know, I always wondered about the origins of the word "mollycoddled". Thank you for the information! (And nice dream, by the way. Although why anyone would dream of The Bay is beyond me - Holt Renfrew maybe, but The Bay??)

Ooooh - word verification is "maryine". An adjective to do with "molly- or mary-coddling" perhaps?

Wendy said...

yes, eat/drink/be merry---i'm working on it!

XUP said...

All the god stuff aside, I think other people should set our "goal-plan/workplan" for the year for us, just like they do at work. We can sit down and discuss it and then both sign it. Whoever set your goals for you is responsible for keeping you on track. At the end of the year you get a performance evaluation from everyone who contributed to your goal-plan. It would be good if there were some form of reward & forfeit system involved, too.

Jazz said...

Ian - Great resolution

Geewits - The only year I managed to keep a resolution was the year we resolved to go to our favourite restaurant once a month. That worked.

Bandobras - should I maybe change the wording?

Violetsky - you're ok if you have the new stamps with no price on them, those you can roll over. Otherwise, you're screwed.

SAW - yep. semantics. Nothing more.

Pink - is the word verification going all psychic on us?

Wendy - it's all work work work.

XUP - No. Freaking. Way. I get enough of that crap at work!!!

XUP said...

Ha ha, I knew that would go over well. Don't worry, I'm not really advocating that.

Jazz said...

XUP - Can you imagine though? Actually I'm sure some people do that, or some version of it. That's some scary shit right there!

choochoo said...

Hehe. Glad I'm not the only crazy dreamer :P

Jocelyn said...

And here I was so excited that you'd gone to Korea!

But I'm still excited to read that you're no resolution geek; resolutions make me crazy. Just live how you want to live all of the time, people, and stop trying to be different for ten days of each new year.

lime said...

i don't make resolutions. the only one i ever kept was to stop making them.

Suldog said...

First, I much appreciate the etymology. Fun facts!

Last, resolutions at the New Year are just some folk's way of avoiding having any resolve during the 12 months leading up to it ("Oh, I'll stop doing such-and-such at New Years. Meanwhile, since I'm going to give it up then, I'll enjoy even more of it now! Woo-Hoo!")

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