Monday, November 26, 2007

Like the March Hare

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late... or at any rate busy, busy, busy. The annual shareholders meeting is looming and I'm drowing in paperwork.

However, ever thoughtful that I am, I figured you shouldn't be too long without your dose of Jazzy imbecility so....

It should be noted that it is highly annoying to live in a one way street sometimes. Like the early morning you leave for work and an ambulance is sitting right in the middle of the street. Right beside your car. Placed so that there's no way you can squeeze out in front of it. And of course there's no one in the ambulance to move it out of the way. Besides, one surmises they are busy saving a life or something.

This is when Mr. Jazz becomes a hero. He managed to back out of a parallel parking spot by driving onto the sidewalk, putting the car pretty much perpendicular to the street (there are times when I think a Smart Car would be a wise investment) and managing to squeeze out between the ambulance and the car behind us with a hairsbreadth to spare. Then jiggling the car around some more until it's facing in the right direction (without scratching any other cars) and backing up the street to the alleyway. The man, I say, is a genius. Me, I would've been obliged to sit there and fume and repeat a mantra of "Die, whoever you are; die quickly so they leave. Die, die, die..." I'm evil that way.

And under the "Only in Montreal" heading:

Chez Parée, one of Montreal's best known strip clubs is advertising a free buffet on evenings the Habs play home games. With a giant screen. I mean, what better way to spend an evening than watching strippers and a hockey game? But wouldn't you lose track of one or the other somewhere along the way?

12 comments:

CS said...

I loathe parallel parking. One of the reasons I'm glad to live in the boonies.

furiousBall said...

Wow, ice hockey and nudity... I dunno, that's worlds colliding for me. I couldn't do it. I mean if forced, I'd tough it out.

Ian Lidster said...

I guess it would depend on what one or the other was doing at any given time. I like to be eclectic in my interests.
How about peelers on ice? Now, there's a concept.

Jill said...

I think men have an extra parking gene.....

Big Brother said...

The way that the Habs hav been playing that might jut be a winning combination. Instead of being bored to tears you at least have something to do...;o) And yes my Bro-in-law is super driver, he'll put a car were nobody else could.

ticknart said...

To really celebrate the home games, the girls should strip on the ice. That'd be exciting.

Jocelyn said...

Mr. Jazz is a superstar, for sure.

And what I like best about you is that you'd sit there muttering, "Die, die..."

geewits said...

I can't imagine living on a one-way street. I used to live near one that was only one-way part time and I hated it. Good for Mr. Jazz for coming to the rescue!

As for the other thing, Hockey can be boring, so you watch the strippers until the die-hard sports fans start yelling and then you watch the game until it gets boring again.

Voyager said...

Peelers and a Habs game! Cool. Or it would be if it was male strippers. I suspect not. Damn.
V.

Jazz said...

CS - Parallel parking sucketh indeed

Furiousball - Yeah, I'm sure if you tried hard enough you'd manage to multitask

Ian - wouldn't that be just a bit cold for the peelers?

Jill - They do. A parking gene and an electronic gizmo gene.

BB - they've been winning more than they've been losing so they're not doing so bad. Course once they hit mid-season they'll probably do like they usually do and fall of a cliff.

Ticknart - Seems like there's a general consensus about the strippers on ice thing.

Jocelyn - Which is probably what you'd do too.

Geewits - That's probably what they do. I'd try it if there were male strippers maybe...

Voyager - Nope, nary a male stripper at Parée. Hmmm.. maybe I should tell y'all about my male stripper experience.

Hageltoast said...

nuts. completely bats. I'd rather watch hockey myself.

Anonymous said...

The smartcar would get my vote for the environment etc., but they're also just so darned cute!
Cheers