Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Damn.

.
No pithy comments today. No rants, no snarkiness.

I've been to two funerals in the past 10 days and I have to admit, I'm really pretty sick of it.

Not tragic "children killed in an accident" funerals. Just your regular, run of the mill the "Big C" funerals of friends' parents. A couple of months ago it was a family friend.

And it's freaking me right the fuck out.

It's bizarre when the parents begin to go. Over 20 years ago my father died, but that was not really in the order of things.

But now it's happening more and more, and I'll be going to more and more funerals as time passes. Soon it'll be my generation.

I've found myself preoccupied by death these days, I can't get it out of my mind.

And I'm not liking this one bit.
.

9 comments:

geewits said...

Death doesn't bother me at all. Everybody dies. We're born, we die and if we're lucky someone may remember us ocassionally. That's all there is to it.

Suzan Buckner said...

I know how you feel girl! Last year, I had 4 family deaths in 5 weeks. That's 4 trips to Florida
(400 miles one way), I was so afraid that all of my relatives were going to die...At one point, I got back home (Alabama)at 12am, and at 12:15 got a call to come back.So, it was like driving 6.5 hours, taking a 30 minute break, and driving 6.5 MORE..I was at the brink of a nervous breakdown.

Carolyn said...

I've thought a lot about my own mortality since becoming a Mom last November... 3 weeks shy of my 42nd birthday.
It sucks to think I probably won't get to see as much as my daughters life as I'd like to... but then again, I could live til I'm 90!
I hope your feelings soon pass, and the snarkiness returns.
:c )

Jazz said...

Geewits - Actually it usually doesn't bother me either. You live, you die end of story. I think I'm just all funeraled out.

Suzan - Shiiiit. That majorly sucks

Carolyn - You'll live to 90. And I'm sure I'll get back to normal in a few days.... It's been a helluva week.

XUP said...

Funerals are very draining no matter how philosophical you are about death. Grief sucks the energy out of a room and out of all the people in it - if you believe in auras and spiritual energy and stuff

Jocelyn said...

I remember part of my dad's processing after his mom died was summed up when he said, "Now there's no more buffer between me and the grave."

Then he died.

So, yea. I feel the sh** with you.

Jazz said...

XUP - Even if you don't believe in spiritual energy and stuff, yeah, grief just sucks everything out of you.

Joce - Yeah, no buffer. I find buffers comfortable.

VioletSky said...

Last summer I had 5 deaths of friends and friend's parents and neighbours. I've been rather melancholic ever since.

furiousBall said...

I had one death this year and it was more than enough. I miss my Dad every single day. I'm sorry for the loss around you amiga.