Things I Wonder About

.
- How can I have broken a fingernail to the point it's bleeding and not even noticed until the blood has dried?

- How much smaller is the apartment than it was in 1912 due to the numerous coats of paint?

- What is the average number of gloves/mittens/scarves lost in Montreal every day in the winter (I just saw a lone mitten hanging off a fence - it's May, what the hell is it doing there polluting my view ?)

- How do the writers of LOST keep track? Seriously, I wonder about this. This series is just so damn convoluted and twisted, how do they keep track of everything?

- Three or four years ago I could read a 600 page book in two days, in between working and other obligations like feeding myself. Now it takes me a week. Either I've slowed down or the world has sped up. I tend to go for the latter option. I refuse to accept age is catching up with me. I'm in denial that way. (sigh)

- Why are survey people not obliged to go by the no call list in Canada? And people selling you subscriptions to newspapers? And why do they not understand when you say you're not interested? What part of NO do they not understand? And why would anyone willingly do such a thankless job? Wouldn't working as a telemarketer be a great punishment for misdemeanors? This being said, I love it when they call to sell me the newspaper and I tell them, "Sorry, d'ya have a braille version? I'm blind." I'm really gonna look like a fool the day one of them says, "Yeah, we do". But most of them just seem to be really embarrassed at having called in the first place. Sometimes I take pity on them and tell them it's ok, not their fault I'm "blind". Mostly not though. Mostly not.

- My boss recently got a Blackberry. I was fiddling with it and kept hitting two keys at a time. The keyboard is really tiny on these things. How do those fat businessmen with their sausage thumbs actually manage to type on those? You know the ones. As soon as the plane rolls to a stop they're on their Blackberry typing notes of the inane and time wasting "Oh, I'm getting out of my seat now" variety. As if anyone cares. They're like high school girls when they're on these things. My point, however, is: How do they manage to hit one key at a time? Have their thumbs evolved to have skinny ends that retract when they're not thumbing their Berry? The mind boggles.


And on the stupid front:

- How can the idea behind the new GE front load washer have seemed like a wonderful technological jump forward? They are selling a new washer in which you can put up to six months detergent beforehand. It sits there and dispenses as you do new loads. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but adding detergent to a load of laundry isn't all that time and effort consuming. Of course this way you don't have to worry whether you added enough laundry detergent because the washer calculates that for you. Cause I dunno about y'all folks, but me, I spend sleepless nights worrying whether I put enough detergent in my last load of laundry ( heavy heavy eye rolling here). Course, they are sorta cute with their triangular glass doors. Are people really gonna buy these washers based on the fact they don't have to add detergent every time? Are consumers that dumb? OK, forget I asked... What's next? A washer that will actually sort your clothes for you, iron 'em, fold 'em and put them away? That I might go for.

Meanwhile, in the "I am so ashamed to be Canadian" column :

How can it be that in Canada we have a minister of science and technology who, a couple of months ago refused to answer the question of whether he believed the theory of evolution on the grounds that he's a Christian and you can't question someone about their religion!!!

How can we have a minister of culture who, when quizzed about Canadian culture on a talk show, knew only a couple of answers? Granted this was a Quebec show, so him being Anglo, I suppose he can't be expected to know much about Quebec culture. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on that, because I'm nice that way, being Canajun an' all. But! But he hardly did better when quizzed about anglo culture! He did at least know who Rick Mercer was though...

These are the minister of science and technology and the minister of culture of our country!!!

This is the redneck* government who rules us.

Someone give me a rock to hide under please. And send us an Obama clone if it's not too much to ask?


* My sincerest apologies to all rednecks
.