See, I lied, I'm here today...

I shamelessly poached this from Malnurtured Snay ... (whose blog, by the way, is highly entertaining.)

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishesfor an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, and gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the traditions of the religious or secular practices or traditions of your choice or, if none, without regard to any religious or secular practices or traditions at all. We wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically healthy generally accepted calendar year 2007 with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. The foregoing does not imply in any way that America is greater than any other country, that the United States is the only America in the Western Hemisphere, or that the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of cultures who have helped make other countries great is inferior. By accepting these greetings you are accepting the following terms. These greetings are subject to clarification and withdrawal at any time and imply no promise by the wisher to the wishee to implement any of the wishes herein. These greetings are freely transferable on the express condition that there be no alteration of the original greetings. These greeting are void where prohibited by law and are revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. These greetings have no guarantee or warranty of any kind. These greetings are valid for a period not to exceed one year or until the issuance of subsequent greetings or until clarification or withdrawal of these greetings pursuant to the terms of these greetings, whichever comes first. The sole remedy for any dissatisfaction of the wishee is, after service of written notice on the wisher by the wishee, clarification or withdrawal of these greetings or issuance of new greetings, at the sole discretion of the wisher.”