That Perfect Tea Whore Moment (and Olive Oil)

Over the weekend we went to 1001 Pots, where, every summer in Val David, lots of potters and ceramicists (108 this year) get together and hold an expo/sale of their work. Mr. Jazz and I found two perfect pieces.

Mine (because who is more important here???) is a cup. The perfect mug for tea. It’s big, I can stick my whole hand into the handle, it’s perfectly balanced and just the right size to wrap my hands around. It is, without a doubt the best tea mug in the entire known universe. I must have tried every damn cup in the place and when I picked up that one, I knew. David Camirand had made it just for me (it’s the same design as the coffee bowl there, ‘cept it’s the ultimate tea mug). Just thinking of that cup up at the cottage waiting for my Saturday morning tea makes me happy. Especially since Mr. Jazz bought me a cast iron Japanese teapot for my birthday. This one actually (well, pretty much).

My life as a tea whore just keeps getting better and better. Why wasn’t tea in my vibrations? What was I thinking?!?!

We also bought a bottle to keep olive oil. Now, I might be the tea whore in our family, but Mr. Jazz loves his olive oil. Yes indeedy he does. Mr. Jazz? He has his everyday olive oil that we use for cooking and his serious ass foody olive oil for salads and dipping and such. One type of olive oil is simply not enough to cover our olivey needs. Because everyone knows a great olive oil seriously rocks.

As for his everyday oil, Mr. Jazz buys his Solon in three or four litre jugs (yep, we use that much; a jug at home and one at the cottage). However, seeing the size of our miniscule kitchen at the cottage, we can’t store the jug there so it stays downstairs. And Mr. Jazz, being the well organized cook that he is, has a bottle which he regularly fills from the jug.

The last, well, next to last – the penultimate (to show off my vocabulary) bottle was an empty bottle of Iceberg Vodka.

Aside, Digression and Product Placement: Iceberg Vodka (proudly made in Canada from iceberg water, which is pretty much the purest water you can get) rocks as much as premium olive oil, indeed it does. Its effects are somewhat more outstanding though, especially after three cosmos. Trust me on this.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

We had friends coming over for dinner and had used the last of the olive oil. Mr. Jazz took an empty bottle of Iceberg he had on hand and filled it with oil. Put it in the cupboard. Pretty much forgot about it.

Couple of hours later, the guests arrive. We go greet them, they come upstairs and Alain asks, when he arrives at the top of the stairs. “How come you have water running out of your cupboard?”

“Water? That’s impossible!”

And it was impossible. The bottle, it had exploded. That wasn’t water but 750 ml of olive oil running out of the cupboard. And into the microwave, and the dishwasher and over the counter and the floor in an ever expanding puddle. Who knew 750 ml could spread out quite that much?

Have you ever tried to mop up almost a litre of olive oil? It’s actually quite funny really. Try standing barefoot in a puddle of olive oil (my feet were ultra soft for over a week). Squeegeeing oil off the counter, mopping it off the floor, slipping and sliding the whole time. Did you know there's a crack between wall and cupboard where olive oil can insinuate itself and thus drip down said wall for ages? Did you know that liquids can get into a microwave door? And that they’ll leak out for over a month afterwards. We now have the best lubed microwave evah!

Mr. Jazz then swore that Iceberg Vodka bottles would forevermore be thrown into the recycling bin when emptied. Thus spoke Mr. Jazz. Evermore.

And that he’d get a bottle especially for the olive oil.

Thus, yesterday's purchase. It was made by Melanie Renaud. A bottle which, we hope, will not have the blog-worthy idea of exploding in the cupboard.

Because, lets be honest here, wiping up errant olive oil for over a month is not the most intellectually stimulating of activities.