Thursday, August 23, 2007

A bit of this, a bit of that

I will be going to environmental hell. Yesterday I threw out (gasp!!!!) an empty bottle of sesame oil. It was sticky, I couldn't get the top off, it was hell to clean so I chucked it. Environmentalists no doubt have a special place in hell for the likes of me.


In possibly the stupidest excuse ever to not hold an election, Quebec Premier Jean Charest declared that there could be no election in Quebec before 2009 because 2008 is Quebec city's 400th anniversary.

I fail to see the logic in that argument, especially since the liberals have a minority government. Wouldn't that take the timing of the next election pretty much out of their hands?


Quebec singer Claude Dubois' latest album just went double platinum in Quebec (i.e. 200,000 copies sold). It's a remake of some of his old songs in duets with singers who are very popular today. Kudos to him. Call me a cynic, but I see duet albums as an effort to relaunch a flagging career. But if it worked for Tony Bennett...


Dear Guy in the Hummer,

There is really no reason to pass people on a one lane one way street in order to get to that red light 50 feet away more quickly. Especially when that entails mowing me down. I know driving a hummer dispenses you from the rules of the road. I know the size of your hummer is directly proportional to your penile insecurities, and I feel only compassion for your plight, but get a grip boy. At least you had the decency to look sheepish when I yelled at you. Did your mother yell at you a lot in the street?

If only for that I'll try to fix it with the boss so you don't end up in environmental hell with me because of that behemoth you drive. On second thought, nope. I'll have you sent to the 9th circle of environmental hell for that truck. I can't even begin to fathom how horrific that will be. Rabid environmentalists are scary people.




Too_Lively said...

No election because of an anniversary... that's funny!

ticknart said...

The no election thing sounds right on the money, to me. After all, there were no elections in Quebec 400 years ago. What better way to celebrate an anniversary than by going back to the old ways?

Dan said...

Environmentalists no doubt have a special place in hell for the likes of me.

I think you just broke the planet.

Ian Lidster said...

I guess the thing is, Jazz, that your Hummer guy has nothing much to get a 'grip' on. We say the same thing in these parts about pickup trucks. 'The bigger the truck the smaller the dick.'

Jill said...

The entire year of 2008 is the anniversary?? I guess I better start planning for my 10th wedding anniversary, if we're going to celebrating for the whole year....

Voyager said...

I always think BC politics are like a frat house keg party gone wrong. But in la belle province....they are a complete mystery.

Jocelyn said...

I'll see you in your particular circle of hell, as I have been known to do the same.

The Hummer drivers will be at least three circles below us.

Hageltoast said...

yup, that is the lamest reason ever for not having an election. And Rabid Environmentalists are not scary people they are terrifying and a whole other species!!

somewhere joe said...

Sesame oil is biodegradable, not to worry. Mine always grows sticky; I forget to use it.

I spit on Hummers.

Em said...

As long as people continue to drive those horrible giant SUV/tanks....environmental hell will be far too full for someone who merely tossed one bottle.

choochoo said...

Well, I just threw plastic in the organic trash. And I even have a degree in enviro science, so I'm definitly going to hell. Here's hoping, anyways.

Dave said...

First time back to blogging since the start of the summer. Great to see that you are still here. Looking forward to returning often!

Dx said...

What's all this nonsense about going to hell? Never fear, I'll probably be blogging from there too. Have left instructions to bury me with a fire extinguisher.

Jazz said...

Too Lively - Actually, that's sad. The guy REALLY likes playing PM.

Ticknart - Yeah, and 400 years ago, people took a bath once a year. I'm not sure I want to go back to that.

Dan - Should I be feeling really proud of myself?

Ian - The bigger the dick the smaller the dick?

Jill - Quebec city has delusions of grandeur. Just one of the many reasons I left.

Voyager - the scary part is that they're a complete mystery to us who live here too.

Jocelyn - Come on down, we'll have a party.

Hageltoast - A whole other species indeed.

Joe - I spit with you. Spit is biodegradable too.

Em - That's reassuring, or scary depending on your point of view.

Choo - everyone knows you're going to hell. You can party with Jocelyn and me.

Dave - Welcome back

DX - An eco-friendly extinguisher I hope! Welcome to my blog.

geewits said...

I used to try to clean my olive oil bottles to recycle them and realized that adding oil to the water table is probably worse than adding a bottle to the landfills. But then I can rationalize ANYTHING.

Evil Spock said...

Evil Spock despises Hummers. Its not like they ever take those behemoths off road. Why the hell do you need a vehicle like that?!?

Evil Spock thinks "Luxury Sports Utility Vehicle" is an oxymoron.

Rhea said...

It's funny, I commit the same sort of environmental wickedness as you. Sometimes you just can't justify using all that water to loosen the top of a little bottle of vanilla, or whatever. Better to toss it sometimes.

CS said...

Using lots of soap and hot water to get one small bottle clean would be more environmentally unsound than tossing that one bottle. But the Hummer? There's no excuse for it.