For all you Survivor fans, here is a heads up on what will take place in the next season*.
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and three kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance lessons.
There is no fast food.
Each man must take care of this three kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework and complete science projects, cook, do laundry and pay a list of “pretend” bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.
Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time – no emailing.
Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.
Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches and have extreme unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. The must attend weekly school meetings, church and find time at least once to spend the afternoon in a park or a similar setting.
They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00am.
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child’s birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name, as well as the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth and length of labour, each child’s favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if… he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mom!
*I have no idea who wrote this, but whoever she is, kudos to her!