Monday, July 28, 2008

Things I've been thinking about lately...

Obviously the tradition of heavily scented flowers when someone dies began in order to mask the smell of putrefaction.

How many people have died since the beginning of humankind? Looking at things, I can't help but wonder if we really have evolved.

Had you told me 20 years ago that I'd spend 20+ (happy) years with the same person I would've laughed in your face.

I don't think I can consider myself a nice person. Or a good daughter.

Why is rosé a summer wine, whereas we drink white year round?

With my headset I can answer the phone away from my desk - which means just one more thing to add to the list of things I do at once. Multitasking, schmultitasking. I asked for the headset - what the hell was I thinking?

I need to clone myself and use myself to replace the CFH. Between me and me we'd have this place nailed down.

The Road (by Cormac McCarthy) is miserably depressing but unputdownable. Horror at it's most horrific (spoilers in the Wikipedia article).

Speaking of (horror not wikipedia), I still have nightmares about Frank (Suave! Goddamn you're one suave fucker! ) in Blue Velvet .

I envy people who are able to just pick up and leave their lives behind to go start a new one. I don't think I'd have the guts, or the recklessness to do so.

I have another plant that seems to be dying. No, it doesn't seem to, it definitely is. It was given to me a month or so ago. Depressing.

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. Again. Or I'm continuing from the last bout. But I don't want a sports car, nor do I want to trade in the spouse for a younger model. I just don't want to be approaching 50. I don't want to be old and decrepit. This too will pass.

4:30 am is a weird hour. All quiet except for the neighbourhood nighthawk. And the background hum you have in a city. Have you ever noticed that there's always a hum in the background in a city? It's never really quiet even when it's totally quiet. Then you get to the country and realize what quiet really is.

So, 4:30, weird hour. Lying in bed awake, alone with your thoughts - which are sort of muddled as you just woke up from a dream where you were alone in Bali and had been robbed - or thought you had. And the dream Bali had nothing to to with the real Bali and you really don't care because you just want to get back to sleep already damnit.

Why am I incapable of spelling weird right the first time I write it down? Ever?

It must be great to be a bird and just fly. And eat bugs. Or roadkill... Meh...

I sometimes have very graphic fantasies of bludgeoning people to death. Nasty, but I suppose it takes the edge off.

I hate being whiney and out of sorts.

I think I'll shut up now.
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22 comments:

paula said...

Uhm, I was with you up unto the "bludgeoning people to death" part. Any folks in particular or just a random act? I've got the feeling we've discussed this before...

furiousBall said...

a little bludgeoning people to death here and there never hurt any body... i mean except the bludgeoned

Mr. Jazz said...

Just make sure I'm not one of the bludgeonedz...

Urban Animal said...

My friend, as I said to you this morning, I totally disagree with you not being a nice person. Ok, you're not sugary and you can be rather direct but that's what I like about you :)

As for bludgeoning people to death, I'm with you. I've felt that many times over the past few weeks and, IMNSHO, the ones we talked about would be doing a great service to humanity. And if this makes me a bad person, then so be it.

Ian Lidster said...

Well, I love you and so does God, I understand. Otherwise I find as time goes by I grudgingly embrace Sartre's existentialism even more, in spite of myself. And, aging stinks, but it 'is' so we just have to get on with it.

ticknart said...

Weird time here was 2:15 this morning, hearing a guy down the street clearing his throat every thirty seconds and apparently not.

Jazz said...

Paula - Well, Animal wants me to bludgeon someone for her. But mostly just random idiots who annoy me. And they are legion. Not that I'd ever go out and do it. I hope.

Fuball - There you go.

Mr. Jazz - Of course not. You feed me. Long as you feed me you're safe.

Animal - Thanks

Ian - God schmod. I'll drink to Sartre.

Tick - Was it the guy who lived in your alley?

Big Brother said...

There there lil sister, it'll be all right.. I think, I hope... And don't you dare think of bludgeoning me, I've had seven extra years to get meaner than you... ;o)You obviously have way too much time to think...4:30 am for deity's sake what the hell are you doing up a that ungodly hour?

Suzan Buckner said...

I think we have the same parents. I was probably left behind when you all went to the USA for a camping trip. I think that I am your twin.

lol lol @ bludgeoning someone to death....it's funny, because I have felt that way. LOL

Rachel said...

My preferred fantasy modus operandi involves a sharp knife and lots of screaming. Sometimes its poison instead.

Bludgeoning sounds so...complicated.

Jazz said...

BB - I'd never bludgeon you, you're my mentor for all things nasty.

Suzan - Are you the evil twin or the good twin?

Rachel - Naw, bludgeoning is real easy. All you have to do is beat the living crap out of 'em with a blunt objet. Oh, and try not to get too dirty.

citizen of the world said...

"I envy people who are able to just pick up and leave their lives behind to go start a new one. I don't think I'd have the guts, or the recklessness to do so."

I'm still holding out hope that I will one day be one of those people.

xup said...

Thanks for infecting me with your spooky-hour angst. I do love Blue Velvet, though. And, who’s stopping you from drinking Rose in the winter? And there are more people on earth today than have ever died since the beginning of humankind. How freaky is that? And it’s nice that you’re still happy with your significant other. And getting older doesn’t have to suck if you don’t let it.

Leplume said...

I hear ya on that getting old and decrepit thing. Oi, my aching back...

geewits said...

How strange. I just posted, using the word weird and looked it up. I look it up every time I use it. I should just write it on the wall next to my computer. Or maybe that's the tattoo I should get.

I happen to think you are a very nice person and I shall allow you to drink rose year round, but not with bugs and roadkill. That calls for a very strong ale.

paula said...

citizen of the world: I was one of those people. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Definitely romanticized in the movies.

Okay...Literalist that I am, I focused in on "death"; bludgeoning someone to DEATH. I'd be more comfortable with unconsciencness...or a lengthy coma. Or better, I'd rather nature stepped in and a hole opened up and swallowed them. Poof. They're gone. No fuss, no muss. I don't need them to suffer necessarily, just to get out of my freeeeekin' WAY!

Jazz said...

Citizen - Really? One day maybe.

Xup - I drink rosé anytime, but they market it as summer. Why is that I wonder?

Leplume - welcome to my blog. Funny enough my back is aching too.

Geewits - I'm not much for beer, so maybe I should pass on the bugs and roadkill. Your comment made me laugh out loud.

Paula - I know a few people who have done it, in several cases it didn't work out. Good on you for managing it.

Suzan Buckner said...

obviously I am the good twin..YOU are the one wanting to bludgeon someone...LOL

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

It's those graphic blugeoning fantasies that allow us to smile and act civilized. :)

ticknart said...

The homeless guy hasn't been in the alley for a while. I guess he moved on. I'm pretty sure it was a guy from one of the house behind my apartment.

Oh, and in thinking about one of the other things you wrote, last I heard was the estimate that over 100 billion human have died. And on the evolved front, I like grape flavored bubble gum. Couldn't chew on that even two hundred years ago.

VioletSky said...

Interesting how the focal point became your last point. Oh wait, it was second last. Are you whiny?
Bludgeoning does sound messy. I do fantasize about zapping someone and watching them shoot straight up in the air, then disappear to wherever.

I, too, envy people who can just pack up and start a new life. I don't want to do it, but I want to think I could do it. I couldn't.

Jazz said...

Suzan - I thought you'd say that.

Kimber - true

Tick - Yeah, the universe would be much less without grape flavoured bubble gum.

Violetsky - You know, I thought the exact same thing - why the fixation on the bludgeoning. I actually started a post on that which is still in draft form and will probably stay that way.