Friday, April 17, 2009


Or would that be Quintennial?
I posted here for the first time on October 15, 2005, 500 posts ago. It took me 3+ years, but I made it to 500. Who'd'a thunk it? I figured I'd never get past 100.

I was wondering how to celebrate this milestone. Once, long long ago - so long ago I can't be bothered to search it out, I believe I did a "100 things about myself" post. Do I dare 500?


Because a) It would be boring as hell to read, b) It would be even boringer to write, and c) I don't even know if there are 500 things to say about me. Besides, it seems a tad (OK, way more than a tad) narcissistic to make such a list and imagine people would actually want to read it.

So my little brain was racked and racked for a celebratory idea. Then... vwwwuup! (that's the sound of an idea arriving) I thought well, hell, why not do like several people I've seen who celebrate with a giveaway. More racking of grey matter ensued. Poor thing was being racked to death. What could I give away?

A jar of toenail clippings? That's all the rage in the art world you know, as you can see from the works of David Shringly and Carlos Capelan (well, he uses fingernail clippings, but still, same idea). However as an unknown artist, such a jar of my DNA wouldn't be worth much, more's the pity.

There's that mummified muffin (such alliteration!) I forgot in my desk, but then, if I'm really hard up for breakfast I could always "just add water" and it could save me from starvation.

So, the giveaway idea was given up.

Ah, wait.. unless I show extreme generosity and - insert drum roll - give whoever wants it the once in a lifetime chance to guest post on Haphazard Life!

Just what you've all been waiting for, eh? And me? I get to put my feet up and let someone else do the work for a change. This is an idea I can work with! Email me your posts and I will give you full credit, I swear!

What? No takers!?!? Even if I whine that I'll be spending my vacation painting? sigh...

Well then no celebration. Of course, the last time I celebrated, the ensuing hangover was celebratory, to say the least.

A 500th post about failing dismally at celebration. That's new and different ain't it?

How's that for haphazardness?

The name is well earned indeed.


lime said...

well congrats. 500 is pretty impressive. i'm really glad you didn't offer up a jar of your fingernail clippings. ;)

Mr. Jazz said...

Congrats my love! Can't wait for your 1000th.

Joanie Hoffman said...

Happy 500!
(and many moooore).
Happy days,

furiousBall said...

is that a metric 500?

Suldog said...

Happy Blogiversary! 500 is quite a feat. If you had given away the toenails, quite a feet. I would take you up on your offer, but I don't feel like being any less lazy than you. However, if you feel like re-printing anything you've seen over at my place, I give you full authorization to plagiarize me.

Dumdad said...

Wow, 500 posts. The very thought tires me out and makes me grab for my pillow and teddy bear. Big congrats. Perhaps you can give away $500 dollars to each of the bloggers who comment on this post? Just an idea...

Maddy said...

Yes it's funny how we sort of start up wondering quite what we're doing, then get into the habit and before you know it.....500!
Well done you.

Voyager said...

Congratulations! I'll pass on the toenail clippings and the mummified muffin though. But I will happily raise a glass of cheer in your honour tonight. Maybe two. After all, 500 is worth a hearty celebration.
[And kudos for knowing the Fort Smith "P" thing! I thought it was a joke at first.]

ticknart said...

It's nice that you hit 500 just before vacation time.

geewits said...

I always wonder how people keep up with these things. I just checked my blog and it looks like my January 1 New Year post was my 500th. Which would have been convenient since it already had a celebration type picture. Anyway, I'm glad you made it this far. Don't forget about us while you are on vacation and have LOTS of good times. I insist.

Rachel said...

Perhaps, after a certain point, blogiversaries are like birthdays: rack up enough of them and they dont matter anymore!

Myself, I kinda like that.

Happy 500!

citizen of the world said...

Or you could just mention the 500post milestone and sit back and wait for the congratulations? I'll add mine.

Gaelyn said...

Wow, I am truly impressed. You give me something to strive for.

Happy 500th blogoversary!!! Please keep them coming.

And about that drink?

Jazz said...

Lime - but but but... but it's ART!!!

Mr. Jazz - you gotta stay with me for another 3 1/2 years. You ready to go there?

Joanie - Ya know, i think it's really cool that you're wishing me manny more as we sorta just "met"...

Furball - yep. you got your metric minute with 100 seconds and you have your metric post with 100... aw, never mind. I can't figure it out, I've had several glasses of wine. And no food except tomatoes and bocconcini and balsamic vinager.

Sully - Dude, I'm so gonna go through your blog to find my bliss in there. Actually that'll probably take more energy than actually writing my own.

NOTE: The Philly/Pittsburg game is taking about 30% of my concentration here. So the wine and the hockey game.... eek.

DD - are your pillow and teddy bear comfortable? And I wish I had the $$. This being said $500 Canadian is about 3 euros. But next time I go to Paris I will definitely buy you and the Frog Queen a drink.

Maddy - Even three years later I wonder why I'm wasting my time doing this (March was especially hard) and yet I can't not do it. I don't understand why...

Vger - Damn!! So I was right!!! No shit? Y gotta love the P. I thought it was a joke too the first time I hears. Who knew the "P" made it so far North?? Oh, and for the record, I raised a glass to you too.

Tick - with yesterday's post I sorta made sure that's when it happened.

Gewits - I usually don't but this time recently i ended up looking and saw I was at 496... then I figurewd: EASY POST!!!!

Rachel - Yep. 100 was something cause, well it's such a great round number. Now I'm at the 500th point. Nex time it'll be my 1000th, then my 200th, then my 5000th - if I'm not dead by then.

Citizen - You're back? Thanks for the congrats. Next big milestone I'll do that and put my feet up and wait for congrats. Until then, wanna guest post? *sigh*

Gaylyn - The drink has been drunk. More than once. But I think it wasn't so much for the 500th, as for the fact that I'M ON HOLIDAYS FOR TWO WEEKS!!!! YEESSSSSSSSSS!!!

Jazz said...

Oops - obviously that should've read Geewits.

Big Brother said...

Hell lil siter, prolific aren't we? Hell I not even sure I can count that high... Congradulations. ;o)

pinklea said...

You're absolutely, positively sure that this exact post is number 500?? I mean, I'd like to congratulate you and all that, but there was that small slip-up in counting a few days ago, so I just want to be sure before I do.
Ah hell - way to go, Jazz! Woot!

Jazz said...

BB - of course you can count that high. Besides, you don't have to count, just go into your post list and the number is right there.

Pinklea - Yep sure. It's been checked and double checked...

Gnightgirl said...

We've been blogging for just about the same amount of time, that makes us the same age. I have no idea how many posts I've written, but I think I've read most of yours, and I have never been bored. Looking forward to the next 500.

XUP said...

Wow. You may be the long-termest blogger I know. Was there even an internet in 2005? I would be happy to guest post on your blog if I were chosen as the lucky winner. BUT, then you would have to guest post on my blog. I don't think there's enough guest posting going on anyway. I think we should designate a day and all guest post on each others' blogs.

Jocelyn said...

You don't look a post over 25.

Ian Lidster said...

You still have your mojo, hon', so keep going to 501 and well beyond. Absolute congratulations to you and I couldn't do without my regular Jazz fix.

Lhia said...

Happy 500th! I'll be lucky if I ever make it to 50!

Here, There, Elsewhere... and more said...

Congratulations !
I love your humour - glad you passed on the first and second giveaway choices though I don't think 500 things about you would have been boring in the slightest (long but definately not boring)..:)

Jazz said...

Gnightgirl - Thanks!

XUP - There was indeed an internet in 2005. Not only that, I was blogging at another place before here. Something called Open Diary or something. It was a bizarre place. As for the guest blogging thing, I just might take you up on it.

Joce - Awwwwww. Flattery will get you... well everywhere actually.

Ian - As I couldn't do without my Ian fix.

Lhia - You are indeed not the most prolific of bloggers... ;-)

HTE - I wouild have had to start ages ago to accumulate enough toe or finger nails. As for the muffin, I threw it away after writing the post.