Friday, February 08, 2008

Friday correspondence

Dear Bus and Metro drivers,

Yeah, I suppose your working conditions seriously suck. Not being a bus driver, what do I know. And I know you have a strike mandate and that once again this year, we, the users are going to get shafted. And I know that - albeit unofficially - pressure tactics are being used. How else to explain the seriously late trains and busses that arrive jammed and pass right under your nose?

Oh? It's just coincidence? All of a sudden, now that you have a strike mandate. But of course.

Thing is, see, do you really think this annoys your bosses at all? They don't use public transport, remember? They wander around in SUVs and such - just like you probably do. So actually, the people getting shafted are, once more, the users.

You don't have my sympathy, especially at an annual average salary (including benefits) of $77,514. And fucking me over while I'm trying to get home ain't going to gain you any.

Sympathylessly,

Jazz

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Dear Ladies (you know who you are)

Stop infantilizing yourselves!!!!

Have you any idea how annoying it is to hear "oh, I can't have chocolate, I have to be good" when someone passes out Belgian chocolates?

Or, "I was a bad girl this weekend, I had ice cream"?

You were not good, you were not bad. You made a choice to have the cookie or not. Get the fuck over it!

You aren't 15 anymore, it's not cute anymore, it's utterly ridiculous. You are in your 40s for chrissake. Get over the stupid "treat" obsession, and just have the damn piece of chocolate without excuses or half an hour of justification!

You make women look like half-wits.

Jeez...

Wholewittedly and liking the chocolate,

Jazz

17 comments:

furiousBall said...

You're right and the honest to God's truth is that at least we men, like it when you're bad anyway.

Rachel said...

is it any better if we say "no thanks, I'm watching my weight?"

speaking of cookies...I want some cookies.


and wait, did you say your bus drivers make 77,000 per year? WTF?

Tai said...

Ah, I was wondering if I was the only one who cringed when someone said "Oh, I can't have chocolate, I have to be good."

I thought I was alone in despising that statement!!
Thanks Jazz, for being whole of wit!

A Happy Downtowner said...

So your bus drivers are not happy with their working conditions??? let them all go I say! Tons of other people with perfect qualifications/skills will be delighted to replace them! I remember hearing a bus driver chat with a passenger on my last visit to Montreal about her poor working conditions... I had to bite my tongue :)

Some people just want to feel deprived, let them be I say! I want chocolate! Cookies! Stuff!

XUP said...

Other people's relationship with food freaks me all the way out. 85% of the time they're shovelling the most disgusting crap down their throats and the other 15% of the time they're starving themselves. I know that wasn't exactly the point you were making, but it sort of is because North Americans (generally speaking) are not very grown-up about feeding themselves.

Josie said...

Yay, Jazz! We had treats at work today for Chinese New Year, and in particular some wonderful almond cookies. As they were passed around the women drooled and then said, "Oh, I can't. I'm being good. I can't have a cookie."

So I ate them all. :-)

Dumdad said...

Good on you - keep eating the chocs!

Ian Lidster said...

Chocolate is a special gift from God and not to be treated in an infantile manner.

On the other hand, considering some of the shitheads and violence mongers who ride buses, you couldn't get me to drive one for $177 thou.

citizen of the world said...

It's a strange thing to me that people are so intent on bringing their dieting to your attention. The last time I worked in a big pffice, if I ate soemthing helathy, people would say, "Oh, you don't need to eat that, you're already thin" and if I ate soemthing dessert-y they'd say, "How is it fair that you can eat like that?" I just wanted them to eat what they chose to and leave me the hell alone.


And chocolate? It's magic.

Jazz said...

Furiousball - When we're good we're great and when we're bad we're better?

Rachel - How about a simple no thanks. It's just the whole good and bad thing applied to food that annoys the hell out of me

HD - Cookies!

XUP - North Americans definitely have a bizarre relationship to food.

Josie - Yay you! But you could've sent some cookies my way...

Dumdad - I couldn't cut out chocolate if my life depended on it. OK' well maybe I could then.

Ian - I know I wouldn't be a bus driver either.

Citizen - Why on earth would you NOT want to eat something healthy because you're thin... The mind boggles.

XUP said...

While we're on the topic, I do sometimes get the impression when I'm in Quebec that ya'll relate to food more like the French? Or is that just a tourist impression?

Dave said...

You know.... I just gotta love your letters! I have always loved them. Good for you!! Make your point! LOL

Take care! :-)

Jazz said...

XUP - Well, I don't know about other Quebecers, but I do know that for me and Mr. Jazz and our friends, everything revolves around food. The preparation, the savouring, of it. Food and wine are one of the great joys in life and damn, do we enjoy them...

Dave - Thank you. I am to please.

geewits said...

I eat everything I like, but I do have a personal goal weight that I have to be to eat chicken fried steak with gravy, but I don't go around talking about it. And obviously I haven't had it in years, so I had actually sorta forgotten about it. Pass me me one of those chocolates, though!

XUP said...

I shall call you next time I'm in Montreal, then.

A Happy Downtowner said...

xup, I am the same as Jazz and Mr. Jazz about food/wine. Everything revolves around it. The time involved in thinking, anticipating a meal is one of the best part of eating. It's far more than just food in front of you, it's a lifestyle.

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

Amen!