Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Indisputable Mathematical Logic

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I'm sure lots of you have seen this before, but it's just too funny (and easy). I had to post it. The choice was between the joke and a lame meme.

Remember, this is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
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REMEMBER:

SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM.

15 comments:

VioletSky said...

After a bad couple of days, this was a good laugh!! Thanks.

Dumdad said...

I'm not a rocket scientist but doesn't 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%, not 118%?!!!!!

lime said...

that last sentence is the one that rings so very true for me!

Jazz said...

Violet - Happy to have brought a smile to your face, luv.

DD - Well hell! I gotta admit though, I didn't check the numbers. And even if I had, math challenged that I am I probably wouldn't have caught the error. Yer a genius you are.

Lime - Funny, I had the exact same thought when I read it.

citizen of the world said...

That's funny. ALthough I have to say, people decalring they give 110% or what have you irk the hell out of me.

furiousBall said...

i think i win... douchebag is like eleventy million %

geewits said...

Cool. Then BEER DRINKING = 116%
Woo hoo!

Hannah said...

Sad but true, the corporate world would fall apart if it wasn't for ass kissing and bullshit.:P

That girl said...

Argg...one of my many pet peeves.

"giving something 110%" - really? Ugh. I hate that.

XUP said...

Ya, it's humorous (she says in an Eeyore voice), but it's still true and we still have to live with it every day

Nicole said...

LoL This definitely made my day!
Thanks so much for sharing!

Jill said...

It's a geek joke! I'll send it to my co-workers and they'll think I'm the funniest person ever.

Carolyn said...

When your blog appeared on my page I was immediately bitch-slapped with the image of that mathematical equation and my eyes almost started bleeding...

but then I read the post and it was funny... ha-ha funny as a matter of fact.

I'll be passing this tid-bit along....

Jazz said...

Citizen - Drives me crazy too. I hear it alot in hockey talk. We even have a sports show here called 110%. Ack!!

Fuball - You wish

Geewits - You're a winner for sure!

Hannah - yep, ooohhh yeah.

TG - I totally agree

XUP - Especially those of us in public service.

Nicole - You're welcome!

Jill - You'll be branded 110% funny!

Carolyn - Eek!! Next time I'll try to give you some advance notice about things that could make your eyes bleed.

Ricë said...

and all i can say to that is: boy, howdy.