Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Things I hate being told about winter

At least you have a cottage. Winter is so much better in the country.
No, winter is just as cold, if not colder in the country; there might be less slush but there are tons more snow to shovel and otherwise deal with.

You'd like winter if you played winter sports
How exactly does that follow? To paraphrase a article I read a while ago, that's like telling someone who hates the heat to lie in the full sunshine for a couple of hours. You sat that to people who think summer is too hot and they'll look at you like your insane. Thinking winter sports will make me like winter is just as insane. Climbing onto two sticks and throwing myself off the side of a mountain might be ok in summer if it were feasible. But doing so when it's -10 and the windchill brings it to -30 and if you fall you end up with snow down your butt... meh, not so much somehow.

But winter is so pretty and white and pristine!
Granted, winter is white. It's also grey skies and brown dead looking trees. It's colourless. It's blah. It's endless darkness and not enough daylight.

It makes you appreciate summer.
No. It really doesn't. I have no need to freeze off my extremities in order to appreciate warmth. No need at all.

It means the holiday season is imminent
Just at the beginning, the rest of winter is so much longer than the hols. And honestly, other than the week off, I can survive quite nicely without Holiday Hysteria.

The kids are in school
Don't have any, never wanted any, will never have any. Moot point.

It enhances your wardrobe - you can have much more clothes. More shopping!
I could just as easily shop for more warm weather clothes. As if I need cold to shop. Anyone who thinks like that is a shopping lightweight. Pffft.

You can eat foods like stews and raclette and cheese fondue that you just don't want to eat when it's hot.
OK, this one I'll grant. but I'd also have no problem eating these things when it gets coolish (let's say under 20)

And I'll grant that reading a good book in front of the fire while drinking a glass of wine or a cup of tea is very very nice. And watching the antics of 20 birds at the feeders at the same time is lots of fun too.

But somehow, those things really don't make up for all the rest.


furiousBall said...

you're very right. the winter of post holidays is the most bitter too.

geewits said...

It doesn't get as cold here obviously, but the part I hate most is the dry air. Static electricity, dry skin, irritated nasal passages. THAT's what I hate about winter.

ticknart said...

What I like about winter is the complaining.

Rachel said...

Thank you for this post, my dear comrade-in-arms. If only I had a dime for every time I've heard one of these arguments. And. May I say the winter sports argument is the one I most frequently hear, and it pisses me off to no end. Like, I hate being cold and wet, so stfu!

I also wish to add that I eat stews and fondues and other hot weather foods in the summer too. I just don't feel the heat so much, so that particular argument never held much sway.

Another great post, Jazzy-dear!

Hagelrat said...

Winter is great for about a month, then it sucks. I take back every cheery winter is beautiful comment i made earlier in the winter. Sorry, I was wrong, winter sucks, colds suck, heating bills suck i'm over it and want summer now please.

Hannah said...

New here.:) Your post rings so true! I'm in Ottawa and it is practically a frozen hell here from November-April. What's the best thing about winter? Hmm, when its over? ;)

Jazz said...

Fuball - Oh yeah.

Geewits - Come on up to Montreal! We have all that too!!

Ticknart - And you don't even have winter.

Rachel - Were we separated at birth?

Hagelrat - I knew you'd take it back eventually!

Hannah - Welcome! And frozen hell indeed, I'm just a couple of hours down the highway from you...

kimber the wolfgrrrl said...

I thought I was alone in my curmudgeonly hatred of winter. The thing is, I hate hot, too. If it could be crisply autumn all the time, with cheese fondue and wine and sweaters, I'd be happy.

(Until I got a nosebleed from all the crispness....)

Anonymous said...

You're hilarious. I don't know why you don't pack up and move somewhere other than the winteriest place in the country.

Anonymous said...

Another one I hate, which I heard today is "Is it cold enough for ya?" As if I might be wishing to be colder than frozen. gah.

Here, There, Elsewhere... and more said...

The only thing I really really love about winter is the extra time (on rare occasions sadly) I spend under the quilt or in front of a roaring open fire..!
Great post..:)

Jill said...

I'll even help with the last one: stews and raclette (whatever that is) and cheese fondue, not to mention fires, are just as pleasant when it's 30F outside as when it's -20F outside. These extremes are just not necessary. Really.

ArneA said...

Winter is just something we have to go through.
I will within some years move to warmer countries between november and april

Suldog said...

Thanks for stopping by at my place, and for the kind words.

You like Marillion? You can't be all bad, that's for sure. One of my favorite records is one of the Reading Festival, which includes Budgie (why I bought it) but it turned me on to Marillion as well.

Jazz said...

Kimber - I'm sure I'm more curmudegeonly and hate it more. So there.

XUP - Until Obama annexes Canada, I can't legally go live in the south somewhere. Best I can do here is Vancouver, and we all know how that is working out this year. Oh, and I'm sure Winterpeg beats us out. They do, after all, boast the coldest street corner in Canadia!

Citize - God yes! I hadn't even thought of that one

Jill - Well yah! They just don't get it they don't!

Arne - Yeah, we're screwed on that. Hopefully one day I'll be able to spend my winters somewhare way south of here.

Suldog - I'm a rabid fan. My look forward to moment in 2009 is Marillion weekend here in Montreal. I'm pathetic. And no. I'm not all bad. I can be sweet as all get out if I want. I just rarely want...

Captain Smack said...

Yeah, cold sucks. As I type this, I am wearing shorts and my window is open. It's really nice. Don't hate me.

Anonymous said...

Yes, we Vancouverites got hammered this year, and winter has just begun. But I have to say that I was in Québec for Carnaval last year, and I really did have fun in the cold! I discovered that if you are dressed properly for it (and for the first time in my life, I was), you can truly enjoy tubing and skating and snowball fights and ice fishing. (Of course, I'm not planning to repeat this wonderful experience ever, am I?!)

Jocelyn said...

I'm glad I know enough that I wouldn't even TRY to covince you of the many glories of winter.

Any more than you can ever sell me on the notion that heat is pleasant.

Ricë said...

perfectly said. i tell people, "i grew up in the rocky mountains. i have seen snow. i have worn snow boots. i never need to see it or be in it again as long as i live."

my memory may suck the big winkie, but i will never forget the feeling of melting snow inside your rubber boot, soaking into your socks. . . .