Friday, January 05, 2007

Of bamboo and Lillys

I have two bamboo plants on my desk. Over the past several months since, in a temporary fit of insanity, I brought them into the office, they have grown to monstrous proportions. This is bizarre because a) I don’t do plants because b) I manage to kill them within weeks if not days. Jazz, obsessive plant killer. And for some unknown reason the bamboo plants have thrived. Go figure.

However, the guys seem to have resolved to die for the New Year. It’s as good a resolution as any I suppose. They’ve had enough. They’re pulling an “Evangeline Lilly” (hot girl, but what the hell is with that name?). They’re tired of the notoriety, tired of everyone exclaiming over them. They want privacy, and ending it all is the only way they’ve found. Contrary to Lilly though, they aren’t being paid $800,000 or whatever a week to be exclaimed over, so it’s their call. When they get too nasty looking, out to the trash they go. The crusty old Jazz heart will not bleed.

Truth be told, the crusty old Jazz heart doesn’t bleed for Ms. Lilly either (surprise, surprise! – obviously, I didn’t decide to forego cynicism for the New Year). You get into acting because, lets face it, somewhere deep inside there, you want to make it. You make it, you acquire fans along the way. They like you. They obsess over you. Deal with it.

I’m all for giving these celebrities their privacy; their private lives, after all, are none of our business. Unfortunately for all of them, many people don’t feel that way. However, if you get into that business, you know what comes with it. You can’t really plead that you had no clue, can you? Seems to me her situation is largely compensated by all the cash she’s raking in.

But then that’s just cynical old Jazz, greeting the new year. And watching her plants die which will liberate some much needed desk space.


Malnurtured Snay said...

Evangewhatever Lilly committed suicide ... ?

I don't do plants either. If I don't kill 'em, my cats do.

Jazz said...

No, Evangeline Lilly has declared she might be leaving Lost because she's so tired of people coming up to her on the street and saying hi. Or something along those lines. My bamboo on the other hand has nothing to quit, so it's just given up and decided to die.

Hageltoast said...

I am a plant killer too. I have strict rules, if people want to give me plants they must be cut and therefore already dying and unsaveable.