As y’all know, we have a cottage. Which implies, if not quite the back of beyond, at least outside the beaten path, sort of… More importantly, it also implies no citywide sewer system.
Yeah, you see where I’m going here: septic tanks.
The fainthearted might want to go visit some other blog, there are several good ones listed just there to the left. Choose one now and go.
Anyone left? Alrighty then. Septic tanks.
Act 1, Scene 1
They have a lifespan you know, just like we do. Eventually they die. In May I checked ours and it was full. Full. Even though usually we only empty it once a year (it is a small tank) and the last time was October. Full. Full of water rather than “mud”. For anyone new to the system, this is not a good sign. Actually this is a very bad sign. Full of portents of doom and such.
So we had it emptied. Last weekend (three whole weeks later) it was pretty much 60% full again. We only go on weekends. Shit (no pun intended)
Act 1, Scene 2
Enter stage left: The well.
We also don’t get municipal water up in cottage country, so we have a well. It’s an old well. Back then they used to bury them, and hopefully mark the spot. A beacon would be really cool. Even a skull and crossbones would have been nice.
But nothing at all? Much much less fun. Because the well? It has to be found before anything can be done about the septic system. You don’t really want your septic tank sitting three feet away from your well. Unless you’re insane or are some kind of mutant who thrives on tainted water. I may be a mutant, but I'm a clean water drinking mutant.
How do you go about finding a well that was dug 30 years ago? You rent a metal detector. You call a friend. You supply beer. And you dig. And dig, and dig some more. And pee the beer in the woods because you don’t want to flush the toilet unless you absolutely must. People, you don’t realize how wonderful a city sewer system is until you don’t have one.
So that’s where we are now. This weekend we’re looking for the well… and trying to get our heads around the fact that this is going to cost us between $10,000 and $15,000. That hurts.
I guess we can thank our lucky stars that ours decided to die in the summer. It would’ve been hell in winter.
Act 2 to come eventually. *sigh*