Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Useless technology


It’s the latest craze, it’s all the rage and it’s called a slingbox (“Some people may call it a Kaiser box, but I call it a slingbox, mmmmmhmmmmmmm”*).

So, apparently you plug this gizmo to your TV. From there you plug it to your modem or router or whatever the hell it is. And then! TA! DA! You can log on from a computer, laptop, cellphone, blackberry, ipod, and watch your TV shows.

This I learned because I told a colleague, “I’m gonna miss The Amazing Race while I’m at the show on Sunday” (yep, this was drafted a long time ago, before the end of the TV viewing season, before, mercifully I was liberated from the slavery of TV watching).

My question is, why in the name of god would you want to watch TV remotely in real time? What exactly is the point? If you love your TV shows so much that you will go through all this trouble and expense, you don’t need a slingbox, you need a shrink. Plus, there's this really prehistoric invention called a VCR and its young cousin called a TiVo or however the hell that's spelled.

And what, exactly, would be the point of watching TV on a phone? The screen is as big as my thumbnail. And yet every day I see people watching videos on their phones…

I take this to mean that I’ve totally become an old broad who’s complete behind the times.




* Couldn’t resist, Thank you Billy Bob Thornton

13 comments:

choochoo said...

I use my phone to...well...call people. I guess that makes me a weirdo.

ticknart said...

A device like this isn't about actually watching TV, it's about proving that your penis is bigger without actually whipping it out.

Fancy new technology (and often useless technology) is to a geek what a red, convertible sports car is to a balding, over weight, middle-aged, former high school football star.

(Unless the person buying the tech is female, then it’s more about who’s prettier without actually being prettier.)

Mr. Jazz said...

Well, I think I prefer the Slingblade, mmmmhmmm. It's quicker and much more efficient in resolving life's little problems. But some folk do call it a kaiser blade. Go figure...

Ian Lidster said...

Loved your Slingblade analogy -- one of my favorite films.
As I wrote a couple of blogs ago, I am completely with you in terms of 'new-tech' as in "Why the hell do I need this?"
Ian

geewits said...

The only thing I would want to watch in real time would be a Duke basketball game, but I find it's easier to just NOT MAKE PLANS on important game days. And if I absolutely can't be at home, I can find a sports bar with a VERY LARGE SCREEN to watch the game on. Yeah, I guess ticknart has it figured out, because it really seems to make no sense otherwise. Now I am laughing trying to picture a basketball game on a cell phone screen.
(Wow the word verification sounds like they are swearing at me:
fxkocg)

Jazz said...

Choochoo - you are weird, and not just because of your cell phone usage.

Tick - So that's what it's all about!

Mr. J - I'm thinking some people desperately need to be slingbladed.

Ian - One of my favourites too. Am I your evil twin or something? Our tastes seem to be creepily similar.

Geewits - I like that! I can just see myself yelling "YOU FXKOCG!!!" But how would I pronounce it?

ticknart said...

Jazz, you pronounce it like fxkocg. Duh.

Josie said...

That's almost creepy. It reminds me a bit of "1984" or "Harrison Bergeron". We're all being "dumbed down" by having to have constant entertainment. We're being anesthetized. You can be in a whole crowd of people, and no one is interacting with each other face to face, they're all on their cell phones talking to someone somewhere else. And some folks have hands-free headsets, so they're having a conversation, but not with anyone in the immediate vicinity. It really is a creepy feeling to watch it.

Hageltoast said...

you aren't old, you're sane.
I use a notebook for notes, a diary for dates, a phone for calls/texts a computer for computing, interweb and email and a hard drive/dvd recorder to record tv if i am really that bothered, which, when it comes down to actually having to programme thne freaking thing, i usually decide i'm not. @Oh and I like my books in bound paper form

Big Brother said...

Heh lil sister, that thing is weird, and g*d knows that I like tech toys. Mind you the concept is interesting, useless, but from a technological point of view interesting. As for watching anything on my cell phone, mine is usually turned off, leave a message and I'll get back to you.;op

Dan said...

Hmmmm ... taters ... I want me some taters ...

Happy belated birthday Jazz!!

Did anyone get you a slingbox (or blade) for your birthday?

Dorky Dad said...

I barely watch the television at home, let alone anywhere else. I agree. Slingboxes are useless.

Em said...

If you are an old broad behind the times, that makes me an old geezer behind the times, cause I totally agree. I want to see my Amazing Race on the big screen...not on some 1-inch postage stamp screen.