After reading a fellow blogger today I can't help but wonder what the hell is wrong with women. Yes, I know I'm generalizing but this seems very prevalent among the women I know both personally, on forums and in the blogging world.
It's the I'm-such-a-loser/idiot/fool syndrome.
All this guilt over so little, all this putting ourselves down because we made a mistake (how dare you!). It's ugly. We are never good enough, never smart enough, never good looking enough, always too something (fat, stupid, take your pick, you all know what I'm talking about).
Over the past few years, I've been getting better at accepting and liking myself (thank god for the 40s!!), but I still have moments where I simply loathe myself for some percieved fault.
Now, if at least we treated everyone with such contempt. But no, we save our disdain and derision for ourselves. Friends, family, strangers, they're ok. We are the only despicable beings in the bunch.
What the fuck is wrong with us? Where is our self esteem? Why is it so damn hard to accept that we aren't perfect?
Easy as it is, I have problems accepting that it's all the media's fault. Sure, the media portray women as perfectly thin, perfectly put together, perfectly competent, having it all - and perfectly so. But are we really so stupid that we actually believe it, even seeing all the highly imperfect and amazing women around us? Can we really blame the media for it all? Have we not enough brains to think for ourselves? It's sort of scary when you think of it.
So where the hell does it come from, and why do we do this to ourselves? Any ideas?
OK rant over, I'll go beat myself up over something now.
Nope, actually I'm gonna go eat lunch and not feel guilty if it's junky! (Oh, the horror!!!)