Tuesday, January 03, 2006

New Year's Resolutions

Ok, I lied in that other post when I said I hadn't made any resolutions. I mean, c'mon people, between public humiliation and lies, lies are always easier.

However, since public humiliation is always so much more amusing (admit it, you like it too, well mild public humilation at any rate), I figured I'd post my "the trouble with resolutions" story....


I usually steer clear of resolutions since somehow they never work out and I just end up feeling like a failure. Only a bit of a failure mind you; I keep my "Ohmygod I'm such a loser" hysterics for more important things like burning a cake or failing to dust and vacuum yet again.

This year however, I resolved to resolve.

That first resolution went ok. I made the resolutions.

I resolved to eat better (and yesterday noon ate a burger, fries and a soda).

I resolved to get my butt back to the gym (and didn't even come close to even THINKING about getting my ass out of bed this morning, much less actually making it to the gym).

January 3 and already two resolutions blown.... it ain't lookin' good people! **

Now I recall why I stopped making resolutions all those years ago. I actually like to wallow in my mediocrity, it's so much less effort than striving for perfection. Besides, perfection is highly overrated. It's my mediocrity that makes me so damn lovable... (Who me? Delusional? I am not. I'm just very talented when it comes to rationalisation. I am the Queen, no, what say I? The Empress of Rationalisation.)

** Disclaimer: Jazz is in no way shape or form devastated by her lack of resolve. It's just proof that resolutions are not a way of life for her - unless of course she resolves to go to her favourite restaurant once a month. That year's resolution had worked out very well indeed.

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